Way of the Day: JUST KEEP BREATHING

Newborn babies can do it with their eyes closed. So what's the big deal, right? Well, there's breathing, and then there's breathing! Just ask the midwife, the athlete, the asthmatic. Ask the opera singer or the auctioneer. Ask anyone who does yoga or meditates. There are lots of ways to breathe.

You may think of it as just a nose-mouth-and-lungs thing, but in fact the oxygen exchange of respiration takes place within every cell of the body. Breathing is one of your autonomic functions, doing its thing whether you're thinking about it or not. But unlike the body's other autonomic functions -- the beating of the heart, digestion and such -- breathing is within your conscious control. And that, my friend, is the key to the kingdom!

Through breath, you can use your body to relax your mind. Through breath, you can use your mind to relax your body. Want to try it? Here are three breathing exercises from integrative-medicine specialist Andrew Weil, M.D.

Preparing to Exit

Now it comes to the Last Day of my Forties, and I'm gonna make it a good one: first, a long, hot bath, and then some serious shopping! Just happen to have a few Benjamins in my pocket, compliments of my mama. (Thanks, Mom!)

By the way, as long as I'm blogging, LET ME INVITE YOU TO MY BIG FIVE-OH, DARLING! It's at the home of my dear friend and esteemed coauthor, Peggy Spencer, on Saturday, Feb. 13, from 2 to 5 in the afternoon. We're asking people to BYOB and/or bring a little snackie-something-wonderful to share. Email me for the address, will you, love? (sheilakey@newmexico.com) Because the soiree simply won't be as much fun without you!

Tah-tah for now. See you on the other side!

New Moon = Clean Slate

Two weeks into the new year, and if you're like me -- like most people, I'd wager -- your shiny new resolutions of a fortnight ago are already showing a bit of tarnish. Slipped up on the diet? Fell out of the daily exercise routine? Still sneaking the occasional smoke?

Well, before you consign your resolutions to the trash heap of history, mark this year's try a failure, and set your sites warily -- or, perhaps, wearily -- on next January 1st, let me point out that the calendar offers up at least a dozen fresh starts before 2011 dawns. New Moons, they're called, and whether or not you happen to be up at this wee hour, you've got one hanging outside your window right now!

That good ol' "dark o' the moon" ushers in a new lunar cycle every month, and with it, a whole new chance to start fresh. So here's to your Renewed Resolutions. May they shine as brightly as the Full Moon, two weeks hence.

And if they don't? Fuhgeddaboudit! There'll be another New Moon coming along on Feb. 13th. And another on the infamous Ides of March. And another the night before Tax Day. And another and another -- May 13th, June 12th, July 11th, and so on and so forth, at more or less 4-week intervals, ad infinitum.

So... Finnegan, begin again! Why don't'cha?

Dr. Peg publishes online

Here's an article I wrote for My Family Doctor on tips to take home after your doctor visit. Enjoy!

Word of Web

Well, lookee HERE! 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s got listed as the "Deal of the Day"! Thanks, 40thbirthdaygiftsonline.com!

Remembering Lesli

Longest night of the year, and I'm tossing and turning, dipping in and out of sleep. It's not visions of sugar plums but rather snippets of to-do lists that dance in my head. And not really dance, either. More like lords a'leaping, these last-minute lists are.

But what's really gotten me up out of my warm bed this longest night to shiver in the glow of my computer screen is the thought of Lesli. Today (actually, 12/21/09) would have been her 50th birthday, and I forgot all about it until today had become tomorrow.

When the story of a friendship begins with two babies' being plunked into the same playpen while their moms visited, you know the reminiscences must be many and varied. But since this blog's overarching theme is a celebration (alright, and a commiseration) of aging, let me focus -- as Lesli did -- on the wrinkles across her brow.

Of course, she didn't have any! Being a tender young teen, she glowed with a porcelain perfection inherited from her mother. But with a bluster more like her father's, she'd point at her forehead and implore me, "Key! If you ever see me doing this," {eyebrow raise} "tell me to stop, okay?" What's that? "Seriously," she went on, her eyes like saucers and one hand now tracing the furrows created by her sharply elevated eyebrows. "Don't let me do this. I don't want to get wrinkles."

"Pippin," I said (we always called each other by our last names), "you're 16. I don't think you really need to worry about wrinkles just yet."

As it turned out, she didn't really need to worry about wrinkles ever. Cancer took her at age 44, and if by then her furrowed brow had begun to stick, well, I just don't remember. To me, her face will always glow with porcelain perfection -- rather like the sky outside my window this very moment.

How long have I dwelt in reverie?! The longest night is at an end.

Happy birthday, Lesli!

We're On Facebook!

We have joined the swelling ranks of midlifers doing social media networking on Facebook. Come visit our page and become a fan!

Our page title is the same as the book title.

See you there!

Late 80s and Still Limber

In the category of Way #5: S-t-r-e-t-c-h---I-t---O-u-t, comes this Facebook message from an old classmate of mine:

"A friend of my Mom's who is in her late 80's dropped a container of sugar packs. She was helping set up the dining room for after Mom's funeral. I go over to help her but she gets down on her knees like she is still in her 40's and we pick them up. So knowing how slow my mom was, I asked, 'How do you stay so limber?' She said, 'Yoga!' Maybe I should start walking and doing calisthenics again so I can stay in my 40's and not age so fast."

Tell it, Dean! Dean and I, together with all our classmates from Williston (N.D.) High School's Class of '78, are now "leaving our 40s," right on schedule. Nothing we really can do about that. Oh, but we CAN do daily stretching and strengthening exercises, as he suggests. Thus we may enjoy many more years -- indeed, decades! -- as limber lads and lasses, effectively s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g---o-u-t our quality of life.

If you're like me, one of the first things squeezed out by an over-full schedule is exercise. I hope, during this busy holiday season, that you'll find the time each day to walk for 15 minutes or more, and to s-t-r-e-t-c-h through all your hard-working muscle groups. As Tony the Tiger likes to say, "It's grrrrrrrrrreat!"

T minus 3 months and counting...

Okay, I'm actually a week late with this (Thanks, flu, and good riddance!). But as of seven days ago -- i.e. the 10th -- I'm within 3 months of The BIG FIVE-OH. Gosh, listen to me, slinging the numbers: "seven days," "the 10th," "3 months," "Five-O." Not that anyone's counting, right? But YES!! The sense of DREAD is starting to MOUNT! And this despite even writing a book about the joys of "leaving your forties."

Help! Help! Anyone else out there feeling the dread of 'reeling in the years'?

I see from Facebook that Val, one of my Williston (ND) High School classmates, is turning 50 today. Yeah, I guess the entire Class of '78 is lined up to do so, now, right? Who else is with us? Stand up and be counted, Dear Ones!!! "Turning 50 and proud of it!"

Alright then, how 'bout "Turning 50 and there ain't nothin' we can do about it!"

Happy Birthdays, Boyzz

With two birthday boys in the house this weekend, it's been an indulgent couple of days, and I expect my Weight Watchers weigh-in on Monday will confirm as much. Sigh... But why complain? My beautiful son is stretching toward teendom, and my beautiful husband is almost three years past cancer treatment and going strong. Life is sweet! So let us eat cake and have it, too, and may all groaning scales be damned. Happy Birthday, everyone, whenever yours happens to be.

It's that Wonderful, Colorful Time of Year

...and I'm not talking fall foliage -- though that's always a sight for sore eyes, too. No, I'm referring to the painted skies over Albuquerque during this city's signature event: BALLOON FIESTA! Shutter bug that I am, I naturally do my level best (or, let's say, my upwardly shooting best!) to help win this Kodak-sponsored spectacle the distinction of World's Most Photographed Annual Event. Here's a tiny (and yet, gigantic) sample from my accumulated scads of balloon pix, doing double duty as a shout out to all my old pals in Tucson and the surrounding Sonoran Desert, where the majestic saguaros grow. Yeehaw!

Okay, I'll give you another hint

As I launch the CHANGING MOON journaling group tomorrow (Sat., 1/10, 5-7 p.m., at The UPS Store at Central & Yale SE in Albuquerque), the focus of my talk will be CREATION MYTH. Bring your journal, come listen to a lovely little creation myth of Caribbean origin, and be prepared to apply the creation-myth concept to yourself.

What are YOU creating in your life in this New Year?

I can't wait to meet you! Bring your friends, too, okay? 'Cuz I can't wait to meet them either.

Love Love Love
Sheila

Please come this Saturday!

You know what this Saturday is?

It's 2009's first Full Moon. And it's the official start of StudioFiftyForty's premier journaling series: CHANGING MOON.

I've been running all over the Duke City posting posters*. Have you seen any of them? Are you wondering, "What the heck is journaling, anyway?" Yes, well, sometimes the posters I design forget to mention the most helpful tidbit. In this case, for instance, I should'a thought to include the words "FIRST SESSION IS FREE." Because it is.

So -- hey! The rest you can learn when you come over on Saturday, right? Please join me and a small, wonderful group of others at CHANGING MOON's Official Launch, this Saturday, Jan. 10, from 5-7 p.m., at The UPS Store at Central & Yale, near UNM in Albuquerque.

Looking forward to seeing your smiling face,
Sheila

* Don't let me forget to thank Peggy Spencer, the right-good doctor and my beloved coauthor, who did offer to help with poster distribution. Bless her heart! Thanks, Peggy!)

You are cordially invited (and so are all your friends!)

CHANGING MOON

Hiya. Sheila here.
If you're like me, you embrace the notion of New Year's resolutions. Indeed, you embrace the resolutions themselves --- often the same ones, year after year --- until about February or so. Okay, maybe late-January.

But what if we could extend the "new-year-ness" of the year? What if a clean slate -- a clean start -- came along, oh, say, every month or so? Just in time (in other words) for you to rededicate yourself to the cause!

Well, my friends, that is the very gift the Moon gives us:
Every month a New Moon.
Every month a clean slate.

What's more, every lunar month gives us a Full Moon, the perfect occasion for checking progress and reflecting on our own coming-to-fullness.

This is the principle behind (and beneath and throughout) CHANGING MOON, the Journal-Writing Series I'm launching with a free "demo" session on Saturday, Dec. 27, from 5 to 8 p.m., at the UPS STORE near UNM (Central & Yale SE in ABQ). I hope you can come. AND that you'll help me spread the word.

Please forward this link to your writerly friends, your "journaling" friends, your friends who love New Year's resolutions! Anyone you can think of, who might be interested.

CHANGING MOON is the premier presentation of StudioFiftyForty.com, my new (well, newish) "sole proprietorship" and a natural outgrowth of 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s, the book I wrote with medical expert Peggy Spencer, M.D. Someday, I will grow StudioFiftyForty.com into the "the online gift shop for cool people of a certain age." Meanwhile, I'm bringing this baby out to meet the public in real space. Even if "journaling" ain't your bag, I hope you'll show up for the launch party on 12/27.

Thanks to the magically well-timed offer and boundless generosity of UPS Store Manager Mary Ann Mitchell-Carr and her family, IT'S TURNING INTO QUITE AN EVENT! Mary Ann's brother, Donald Mitchell, a professional caterer, will provide coffee, teas, cocoa, and sweet nibbles. Mary Ann has ordered in 50 chairs (fifty! as in Fifty Ways to Leave Your 40s!). I'm preparing a special little piece of "book art" to hand out as party favors.

OH! & WE'LL HAVE DOOR PRIZES!!!

Tell your friends, will you, will you? And plan to come! Saturday, Dec. 27, at the UPS Store near UNM (at Central & Yale SE, in ABQQ). Try to be there by dark!

Hope to see you then!
Love, Love, Love (that ever-lovin' "Way #47")
Sheila

P.S. Stay tuned for details -- dates, rates & offerings.

Tune in, Ft. Collins!

Sheila's on the radio again
namely,
"Memos from Life"
with host Barbara Bue
Monday, Oct. 27th, from 6 to 7 p.m.
on KRFC 88.9 FM or online at krfcfm.org.
Tune in if you get the chance.

Happy Birthday, Deborah Cleere!

Oh-eight, oh-eight, oh-eight. I heard the Chinese chose this particular date -- or lobbied hard for the Olympics in '08 so's they could choose this date -- because 8 is the most auspicious of digits in their culture. Well, I've watched this one coming with a smile on my face, because ever since I found out that my friend Deborah Partridge was born on 08-08-58, I've been able to figure that 08-08-08 would mark her 50th.

Happy Birthday, Deb! You survivor you!

When I saw 08-08-08 coming, I knew I must---MUST!---break my silence and blog. I do enjoy the number-patterned dates --- and that's about as far as my love of numbers goes. Me and math? Nahhh...

But listen! There's a smack beautiful storm right on top of me as I type. Here in the desert this time of year, a gardener can see storms pouring rain all around, but nary a drop comes her way. So I really must go pull a big plastic garbage can under the downspout.

I'll be back. And soon!

Love Love Gush!
Sheila

Our SouthWest Writers Gig coming up

excerpt from The SouthWest Sage, the Voice of SouthWest Writers

How a Couple of ‘Accidental Coauthors’ Let the Muses In
Tuesday, August 19, 7 to 9 p.m.

Establishing a plan for the article or book you’re writing is
never a bad idea, of course, but—have you noticed?
Sometimes the project has ideas of its own. Authors Sheila
Key and Peggy Spencer, MD, will discuss the wild,
wonderful (and, at times, worrisome) magic that intruded
early and often during the writing of their book, 50 Ways to
Leave Your 40s: Living It Up in Life’s Second Half, and how
these divine interventions resulted in a better book. Listen!
If these two women—a couple of opposites who didn’t even
meet until halfway through “50/40’s” development—could
manage to go with the flow, then so can you. Sheila and
Peggy will share ideas for knocking holes in that writer’s box
of yours, so your muses can breathe!

Peggy Spencer has a B.A. from the University of California
Santa Cruz and an MD from the University of Arizona. She
completed a residency at UNM, is board certified in Family
Medicine, and works as staff physician at the UNM Student
Health Center and adjunct faculty at the School of
Medicine. Winner of the SWW 2006 Best Essay award, she
writes a column for the Daily Lobo answering health
questions, and contributes articles to UNM Parent Matters
and UNM Today.

Sheila Key is an award-winning writer and graphic designer
who has freelanced for publications ranging from corporate
business journals to New Age magazines. She worked in
radio for ten years in Minnesota, Wisconsin and elsewhere,
arriving in Albuquerque in 1994 when her husband became
general manager of KUNM FM. Notably, it was the SWW
2003 writing contest that convinced Sheila to developing
the book proposal. She won SWW awards that year and the
next, and by then the proposal was ready. Thanks SWW!

Another Radio Interview for Sheila!

Sheila is interviewed by Women's Watch host Carolyn Firestone on WBZ out of Boston.

Click here to listen.

Give me an "A!" Give me another "A!" Give me an "R!" Give me a "P!"

On the way back from Crested Butte, I stopped for the night in Gunnison, Colorado. Little motel on the edge of town, one of the few not filled up by the softball tournament that had packed the area for the weekend.

The plump young woman behind the desk said, "Two queen beds, $59."

I nodded, "Okay."

"Got any discounts or anything?"

"No." I never have discounts. If I ever manage to clip coupons, I always leave them wherever I'm not. "Oh, wait! I'm a member of AARP! Does that count?"

"Sure does," she smiled.

I was psyched! My first discount as an Elder American! Woo hoo!

I felt like I had made a rite of passage. Small, but significant.

You see, for years I heard my friends complain, "I got an invitation to join AARP! Man, do I feel old!"

As each of them passed the fifty year mark, we'd razz them. "Did you get your AARP card yet?" Ha ha ha.

So, when it came my turn to see the big 5-0 on the horizon, I decided to get pro-active. I joined them before they could recruit me. I had my membership before my 50th birthday. Embrace the change! Be proud of your age! Bounce right out of your 40s and into AARP!

I signed my name with a flourish and strutted down to my room.