Give me an "A!" Give me another "A!" Give me an "R!" Give me a "P!"

On the way back from Crested Butte, I stopped for the night in Gunnison, Colorado. Little motel on the edge of town, one of the few not filled up by the softball tournament that had packed the area for the weekend.

The plump young woman behind the desk said, "Two queen beds, $59."

I nodded, "Okay."

"Got any discounts or anything?"

"No." I never have discounts. If I ever manage to clip coupons, I always leave them wherever I'm not. "Oh, wait! I'm a member of AARP! Does that count?"

"Sure does," she smiled.

I was psyched! My first discount as an Elder American! Woo hoo!

I felt like I had made a rite of passage. Small, but significant.

You see, for years I heard my friends complain, "I got an invitation to join AARP! Man, do I feel old!"

As each of them passed the fifty year mark, we'd razz them. "Did you get your AARP card yet?" Ha ha ha.

So, when it came my turn to see the big 5-0 on the horizon, I decided to get pro-active. I joined them before they could recruit me. I had my membership before my 50th birthday. Embrace the change! Be proud of your age! Bounce right out of your 40s and into AARP!

I signed my name with a flourish and strutted down to my room.

Correspondence, correspondence, correspondence, ret-set-set!

Remember that old camp song? What was the "real" word? Sarasponda Sarasponda Sarasponda Ret Set Set --- something like that.

Anyway, I'm babbling. That would be because I spent this whole week printing and folding and stuffing and stamping and, on occasion, REprinting and REstuffing -- oh yes, and driving back over to the office supply store for yet more ink cartridges. If I knew how to spell that big, in-whooshing sound, I'd put that next, because my Canon PIXMA iP1600 SUCKS! And not just in terms of ink. I spent much of this week also getting error messages, pressing "cancel print job," and rebooting the computer. Long (and I do mean long) story short, I have just, minutes ago, "dropped" what must surely rank among history's most expensive 200-piece mailings. May it go forth in all directions and do some real good in this world!

Okay, so... watch your mailbox! Because you may just be among the two hundred! And if not, just wait. I'm now tweaking the thing for online-posting purposes---"the thing" being a fun little birth announcement about 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s---and will post it here just as soon as it's ready. Stay tuned.

TTFN (ta-tah for now),
Sheila

Famous Fifty's

Thought you might enjoy news of how some folks are "taking" this 40's to 50's transition. We'll add links to this post as we hear more stories.

Jamie Lee Curtis

Ellen Degeneres

Carolyn Kennedy

March 4th, revisited

True story about March 4th a year ago. SO GREEN was our Christmas tree the holiday before last --- a beautiful ceiling scraper of 14 feet --- that when we carried it out of here (that is, as we marched forth with it, a year ago yesterday), the thing was actually sprouting new growth! Peg can vouch for this. She came over to work on the book that day, and I called her out to the compost pile to show her: our retired tree, stripped of its holiday bling, yet SELF-adorned with bright shoots of Spring Green, here, there and everywhere! A passionate part of me wanted to stand it right back up in water, but... well, it was March, for heaven's sake, and we'd already had more than one neighbor remark, upon seeing the gentle giant in our great room, still proud as a peacock past Valentine's Day, "Hey, I'd be happy to help you get that out of here!" So we decided to march forth on March 4th, out the back door, bearing the beauty to its final resting place, where it lay sprouting as it died.

Sigh.

Well, this year the winter holidays are long past, and I marked (er, marched?) the day in a manner much more in synch with the season: I shopped not one but two gardening stores. Mostly, I wanted a blooming bush of some sort, to celebrate the publication of 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s. Chose an orange rose named Rio Samba! Oooooohhh, I love orange. And I love roses! So there you go. Some onion sets hopped into my basket on the way to pay. Oh, and a small pot of shamrocks, to remind me of my papa. (Not only did he have Irish blood, but he was also a March baby who ended up dying in March. And he had an unusual take on the Ides of March. Stay tuned -- I'll tell that story on March 15th. Or perhaps the 16th!)

The second gardening store yielded strawberry plants and a hanging planter for them (so the pill bugs don't get 'em this year), two big packets of wildflower seeds, and --- oh, get this! This is a first for me --- pansies. Yes, this longtime herb-and-veggie grower is taking her first foray into flowers. I have transplanted blooming things into pots before, yes, but it was always for something or someone else. But this year, by gum, our property will be prettier with pots of pansies!

I p-p-peaked at the potatoes I have hidden in the dark pantry. Sure enough, they're sprouting eyes! Still no p-p-pea sprouts, though. I planted a couple different varieties straight into the garden two weeks ago -- was told the only secret to succeeding with peas around here is to plant them by President's Day -- and now I'm checking for sprouts everyday, even through the morning frost. It's been three years since I've gardened. Guess you could say I'm a little eager.

So! How does YOUR garden grow? Even if it's only the metaphorical kind, do tell!

Love, Love, Love,
Sheila

LEAP BLOG!

Happy Leap Day! Are you leaping yet? I am. Leaping between appointments -- all of them with "The New Me." Actually, I've been inching up to this New Me for ages (that's the only way to make changes stick, wouldn't you agree?). But I always look to special days like Leap Day for declaring a spirited new Beginning!

I'll play more LEAP BLOG with you when next I land here at the computer. But right now, I'm OFF again!

Love, Love, Love
One Lady a'Leapin'
Sheila

"Take a Leap" Day: T-minus two weeks and counting

Just a reminder -- that rarest of all dates, the 29th of February, is making its quadrennial appearance just two weeks from now. Got plans? If not, go on and think some up quick, because, according to my trusty little Pocket Astrologer, Feb. 29, 2008, is going to be a right dandy day for taking a Spirited Leap.

For one thing, the Moon will be in Sagittarius, and that (says the P.A.) "can give an idealistic feeling, restlessness, desire for adventure and sports, a love of change and motion, and the itch to travel."

Gosh, sounds like "Take a Spirited Leap," to me. But wait, there's more!

"People will be warm and friendly since Sagittarius is ruled by expansive Jupiter, but they will also have a strong need for independence and feel unable to endure restrictions." [Must...LEAP!] "People will likely feel spontaneous," [Now!] "intuitive (prophetic)," [The net will appear; I just know it!] "and animated with enthusiasm. Here the Moon stimulates our aspirations for self-improvement," [Watch me FLY!] "and brings a philosophical influence."

My wee little reference book goes on in this positive vein, and that's just in the "Moon in Sagittarius" part. Oh, but Feb. 29 is loaded with planetary "aspects," too, all of which seem plenty conducive to spirited leaping, even if I don't quite understand every aspect of "aspects." To wit:

On Leap Day, 2008, at:

• 2:03 a.m. (MST): Moon sextile Mercury -- "Communication and conversation are easy with this positive connection of mind and emotions. Practical mental abilities and good common sense are highlighted. It is a good time to conduct business," [at 2 in the morning, riiight], utilize communications media or to use writing as a means of expression." Perhaps we should all plan to be up blogging and emailing that night!
• 4:48 a.m., Moon sextile Venus -- "Sensitivity and affections are strong as subconscious sensuality seeks emotional satisfaction. This is a good time for romance or any social gathering. Personalities mellow. Dispositions are pleasant. Have a party!"
• 12:00 Noon -- Moon square Uranus -- "Expect disruptions or obsessions with the unusual and unconventional." [Break with tradition! Take a spirited LEAP!]
• 8:31 p.m. Moon sextile Neptune -- "Sensitivity opens the unconsciousness. Imagination is strong and inspirational."

See? A perfectly wonderful day to Leap. That's Feb. 29th, two weeks from today. Personally, I didn't need any more convincing. It's enough for me that there is but a single Leap Day in four long years. Rather like Presidential elections and the Summer Olympics, only way more fleeting -- and fun, I think, for the Average Joe & Jill. So don't miss it, okay? Get ready to LEAP!

Happy My-Birthday to You!

So, how many does this make? Here's a hint: With the New Moon three days ago, the lunar calendar ushered in the Year of the Rat, and that just happens to be the sort of year I was born in. Got it? OK, so who are my fellow Rats out there?

Here I am with one of my birthday gifts: Hoberman's sphere --- a glow-in-the-dark model, no less! I mention this cool expanding toy in 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s, in Way #8: Play Ball! So it made sense for me to own one, don't you think? At least, that's why I shopped eBay and "gifted" myself. This thing'll be a hoot during my bookstore appearances, I can tell already.

Oh! Have I buried the lead? I do that all the time.

Peg and I have the beginnings of a book tour booked, with gigs in New Mexico and Arizona, as follows:

Wednesday, March 19, at Garcia Street Books, in Santa Fe
Thursday, May 1, at the Duck & Decanter, in Phoenix
Friday, May 2, at Antigone Books, in Tucson.

Meanwhile, a bookstore owner right here in Albuquerque has declined to book us, isn't that nuts? I won't mention his store, because hey! By his own choice he doesn't make the list! But do stay tuned to this blog, as we expect more bookings --- gosh, maybe even one here in town!

But back to birthdays. Don't you just love 'em? I do. And I've always been especially happy that mine comes so soon after New Year's. As a kid, of course, it was a pretty good bet I'd finally get the gift I whined about not getting for Christmas. Nowadays, it's more about having a second crack at the whole Resolutions thing. Hope springs eternal that one day I will truly start living a healthier lifestyle, and indeed, now that our book is coming out, and it talks all kinds about healthier lifestyles, you might say I'm feeling a hard-pressed to Bring It On! To Switch Into Glide with smooth, solid, daily habits of eating right and exercising with a passion.

So today, in my journal, I'm detailing two side-by-side lists, for the sake of self-motivation, titled "The Now Me" & "The New Me." Okay, dig it, because this isn't just about me. "Happy 'My Birthday' to You!" YOU can have another crack at your Resolutions, too! I mean, why NOT? As Thich Nhat Hanh says, each day brings us 24 brand new hours, and thus a fresh start.

But, I know... some days really do have more of a "fresh start" kind of feel than others. New Year's is naturally a biggie, and birthdays can be just as big. Some folks start fresh with the first day of a new month, or on the day of any month's New Moon. Others refresh their efforts weekly, routinely starting again on Monday. Whatever works! Habit-change takes persistence.

Well, here comes a Fresh Start day I'd call four times more auspicious than New Year's: LEAP DAY, Feb. 29, 2008. I've decided to call it "Take a Leap" Day, and I'll be blogging more about it. Indeed, I'll be sharing my plans for a big leap of my own, one that I hope will bring a bit of joy to legions of people. Stay tuned!

The End Is In Sight!

For those faithful fans who do check on us from time to time, you will be pleased to know that this book is almost finished!

Our deadline to have our manuscript to the publisher is August 1, 2007 and we are going to make it! We're very excited. The book, if we may say so, is looking great. The editor thinks so too.

Of course, after the due date there are all kinds of other steps before publication, which puts the publication date in Spring of 2008. Naturally, we will keep you informed!

Guess who stopped by yesterday!

It's Michael Davis and Colleen Anderson, my friends from West Virginia! They stopped through on their way to Taos, by way of Jemez. Colleen and Michael love New Mexico (luckily for us) and visit often, albeit fleetingly.

These are the good people who came up with the title "50 Ways to Leave Your 40s" (Michael's brainchild) and delivered it to my kitchen table on Oct. 13, 2000. Less than an hour earlier that evening, I'd scrawled "I must write a book!" on a stray piece of paper, then, a moment later, "What shall it be about?" Whereupon Colleen arrived for the first of her now customary autumn stays at the Ghost Ranch. It's a writers' gathering; I'll have to get the URL and put it in here...Fall Writing Festival.

Anyway, there was Colleen at my door, all those 6½ years ago, and within a matter of minutes, she was regaling me with the story of a road trip a few months earlier, notably a gift she gave herself on the occasion of a certain "Big Oh" birthday.

...Which is how the book title came up in conversation. I myself was 40 at the time, and we thought for a minute we might write the book together. But in the end, Colleen and Michael --- these two lovelies flanking me in this photograph --- decided, "YOU should write it, Sheila!" And so, at long last, I am.

Speaking of... I'd better get back to it. I'm at exactly the two-thirds point in the manuscript, working on Way #33 today: "Break On Through to the Other Side." Gotta get my MOjo RIsing! Meanwhile, I have handed The Tome (i.e. the 3-ring binder containing the first 32 chapters) over to Colleen and Michael for their critical -- and I do mean critical -- reading. Stay tuned!

Wait! Before I go, I promised C & M that I'd add their links here on my blog. Give me a minute...Here we go: Colleen's and Michael's.

On again, off again

Hi Peg. Hi readers all. Peg is right: internet access is catch-as-catch-can here at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. Actually, all the buildings of this world-class facility have wireless networks people can use for free, but that doesn't always guarantee I can access the internet -- indeed, I'm off more than on, it seems. All the walls around here are lined with lead, so cell phones are useless, and I suspect the same culprit is what's frustrating my attempts to go online. My email isn't getting to me -- indeed, for some inexplicable reason, it's not even getting to my internet service provider, so web mail does me no good. I realize it was not that long ago we survived just fine without all these technologies, but now that I'm accustomed to having internet access on demand... well, these current difficulties are harshing my mellow.

I'll survive. And I'll be back at'cha on Monday, if not sooner.

Hi Sheila! Good to hear from you, from your lead-lined Hall of Health. Don't worry; life goes on and your bloggees are still here.

I've been doing some research for The Book and have discovered some cool things. For example, it is okay to freeze water bottles but microwaving plastic doesn't get blanket approval. You can make your own Oral Rehydration Solution at home, and I have some recipes. Human Growth Hormone is NOT the fountain of youth. It's possible to "overdose" on water.

My research location is none other than our favorite Napoli coffee shop, where I think I've just about overstayed my welcome. The mocha and scone are long gone, and I need a break before I start putting some of this acquired wisdom into my own words.

Write on!

Love,

Peg

Oh, Hey! I just saw that I am now able to do more than just comment! I knew this was coming, but forgot. (mid-life memory? whassat?) Thanks for including me. -- Di

Middle Aged Memory

Reader, if you can relate, let us know with a comment or a story about your own memory "issues"!

Middle Aged Memory

I remember exactly what I need until the moment I leave the room in search of it. It’s as if a magic breeze flows through the house, sweeping my mind clean of its every intention the moment I cross a sill. Gone. Empty. Forgotten. I stand there, bemused, searching for the thought I had possessed a scant moment before. Where was I going? What was I looking for?

If I fight it, if I get angry or frustrated, if I grieve my aging acuity, all is lost.

But if I stand receptive, in silence, lo and behold. The currents swirl, the breeze comes around again. Gentle as a settling leaf, it drops my thought back into my head, and twists away chuckling.

Joker.

What! Your thought comes back? You mean, without even having to go back to the room where it was conceived? Wow! Now there's an awesome middle-aged memory!

Hahaha! I've heard "proper names & then nouns" go first. Where I work, we just substitute the word "thing" for whatever we've forgotten. It gets pretty comical!

Seriously, though, I got some great advice from a wise man (yes!) who said, "You know you know it. Just ask!" What?? Well, one day Dave & I were headed out and I was upstairs thinking, "when I go down, I need to get the house key out of the drawer" (don't ask). Shortly thereafter, I go downstairs and into the kitchen (well past said drawer) and think "now *what* was I going to do?" I remembered my wise friend and stood there in the kitchen, back to the counter and said to meself "I know you can tell me what I'm trying to remember. I've been told to 'just ask,' so, please? And then it came, "the key." How do you like that? Try it sometime!

The Twins sent those Yankees packin'

Last night’s ballgame was fabulous. It was against the Yankees, after all. The Twins had been ahead 4-0 early on, then the Yanks made it 4-5, where it stood heading into the bottom of the ninth – and wouldn’t you know those Twins would go and score two on a single by Justin Murnow! (Don't know if I'm spelling that name right; except for such biggies as the Olympics, Superbowl and World Series, I don't follow sports much.) As he went to the plate, the Twins had runners on 2^nd and 3^rd and only two outs, so those runners were running by time Murnow’s grounder left his bat. Then it was all over for the big, bad Yankees -- and for those obnoxious Yankee fans who were sitting right across from us. Very exciting end to a very good game! And now I can say I’ve seen the exalted Yankees play live.

Only wish I hadn’t done any business with the beer vendors -- not after those two glasses of red wine I had earlier at the home my brother’s friend. Made for a yucky Easter morning. You’d think, "at my age" (a phrase always spoken in a little-old-lady voice), that I’d know better than to mix my grape ande grain. Ugh!

Sounds exciting, Sheila! Now you can check off "See the exalted Yankees play live" from your List. Keep us posted as to your exploits up there in the North country. Love, Peg

(PS I've archived all the blog entries up 'til this one into Word files on my laptop. Now I can check that off my list, at least for this week!)

Hail Mary, Mother of God

Peg! Check out this email I got this afternoon:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Flashing You the Big Five-Oh!":

HI Sheila,

i was sent by your pal Diane whom i have had the pleasure of corresponding with via Zaadz.com.
How may I be of service to you? What in particlar do you need feedback or support around? I'd be happy to offer support.

Mary

Is that cool or what?

HEY, DIANE -- Thanks for sending Mary our way! I sent her a quickie email on my way out to get the kids, as she was kind enough to provide her direct e-dress. (Or is it idress nowadays?) Suggested she explore the "Official Website," starting with the Chapter Titles & Teasers. Copied in the link... that is, in the email I did. All these months as a blogger and still I'm html-phobic! I'm gonna invite her to become a member of the blog...

MARY?! ARE YOU CHECKING BACK? Did you get my invitation? Did you explore the Official 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s website? http://www.50waystoleaveyour40s.com/index.html

READERS ALL! To go straight to the chapter list -- to read up on the "50 Ways" themselves -- go to http://www.50waystoleaveyour40s.com/chapters.html. Way better than any old ordinary table of contents, this one Diane has rigged up with a cool little roll-over utility: just roll your mouse over any one of the Ways, and a thumbnail description of that chapter will appear.
Thank you, Diane!

(I don't call the woman WebsterGirl for nothing! Picture her in superhero's spandex...)

OK, I gotta go.

Love, love, LOVE to you all, Diane, Peg and now Mary. See how great love is? Great Goddess Almighty, Mary arrives out of the blue saying what can I do? Care to lengthen this poem?

Wow,

Sheila

Fantastish, my deah! Welcome, Ms. Mary! Please do come back, share your stories, and tell all your friends to come too!

Love
Peg

So clean it shines

Good morning, Peg. And it IS still morning, how about that? I've been busy-busy. Looking forward to our first beefy work session at noon -- and glad to be meeting over here this time. I always owe a debt of gratitude to my guests, for the clean house they inspire me to create.

Hey, did I ever tell you about "cleaning exercise" that comes at the end of my Dahn yoga classes? It's another story, to be sure, but permit me to boast. I not only swept. And I didn't even mop. I got down on my hands and knees, as we do after yoga, and scrubbed the floor! OK, not the whole floor; I stopped at the back hallway. Still, together with the major "tidy-up blast" we did last weekend, it's looking fairly decent around here, if I say so myself.

Hey -- it's you on the phone! Sandwich? Sure: turkey & provolone on whole wheat, w/everything. Thanks for asking! See you soon.

More from 26.2 Mama

A couple days ago I posted a tiny bit of the transcript from my interview with Stephanie Robey, my marathoning friend in L.A. Here's more of what she had to say -- indeed, this is the "meat of the matter" and a wonderful contribution to Way #4: Run for Your Life!

What I learned from marathoning – you were talking about how you trip yourself up, how things get out of control – well, that happened to me, Sheila, in a huge way about 7 or 8 years ago. I had a falling out with my brother and my dad about a business deal, and it just seemed like my life was so out of control. I had three businesses going and everything was out of control. My finances..., my marriage… I just felt like everything was out of control, right? I think that’s why the whole idea of marathoning appealed to me.

They say that people who choose to do [marathons] are just complete control freaks. ‘Cause, you know, it’s all about YOU! [laughs] Yeah, they say anyone who... does any kind of ultra-sporting, that they are just complete control freaks. What you learn is that you are completely in control!

You know, you can do a thing – even a thing as big as this – if you just break it up into bite-size chunks. But there is no way you can go out and run 26.2 miles without training. There’s just no way. I know people who are cross-country champions, people who are really elite runners, and (after their first marathon) they say, ‘Well, I’m a really good distance runner, I'm fast, I run a 6- 7-minute mile. I thought I’d have no problem on a marathon. And I was doing really great until I hit 16 miles. Then I crashed.”

The thing about marathoning is, it doesn’t matter who you are, you have to train for it. Your body --- It’s such a huge feat on your body that you have to break it up. You have to get your body into some kind of condition to run it. And it takes time! It takes, minimum, 4 months, and you should allow 6 months...

Now, I look at everything in terms of, "OK, here’s the goal. Here’s the Big, Hairy Audacious Goal: I want to sell my company. Here’s the goal: I want X amount of dollars." So, then you just turn around and go, “Well, what’s the training schedule? What are we going to do -- monthly, weekly, daily -- to meet this goal?” You have to work it out. “Where am I at the halfway point? Where am I at the three-quarter point? What are my milestones?” Just like in the marathon! Then you know, when you get into it, you learn the process, you’ve laid out your whole plan. And it doesn’t have to be like a 50-page business plan. It could be a mental plan, but you’ve laid it out, so you know, “By this date, I’m here.” And when you hit that date, if you’re not there, well, you readjust. And it keeps you from panicking. It keeps you from panicking.

Same thing when you’re running a marathon: You’re at that start line, the gun goes off, you’ve trained, you don’t know what your time is going to be, but you know you’re ready, and you know, in that first mile, you actually have to hold yourself back, because you have to conserve your energy.

And when you hit the first 5K, you think, “Hey, I just ran a 5K!” You’re not thinking, “Oh my God, I still have 23 miles to go.” You never think that. You think, “I’ve done the 5K.” Pretty soon, “Oh, I just ran a 10K.” Soon after that, it’s “Look, I’ve finished the half-marathon.”

OK, then you hit the wall, and everything in your mind and body says, “Oh my God, stop now!” And yet, you’re going, “I only have a 10K to go! Look how far I’ve come, and all I have left to do is 6 miles.” You know, you just start breaking it down that way, and that's --- That has helped me tremendously with everything in life. I don’t care if it’s gardening, if it’s remodeling the house, if it’s helping my husband get a new career going, whatever it is, I stop and say, “What’s the goal?” and “Let’s break it down.”

Even turning 40 and 45 and all that stuff, even at that point, I’m able to now say, “OK, when I’m 50, I want to be here. Where am I today? How difficult is that? Is it really possible? And what do I need to do to get there?”

So, getting back to the whole control issue, you know, people are called control freaks, and we take that to be an insult, really. But in actuality, it’s not an insult. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being in control. It’s just being in control of yourself verses controlling other people. There’s a big difference.

It just occurs to me as I said that, that the best part about coaching kids to run the marathon – and now I have a team of women runners that I run with – is that, it’s so funny: We as individuals don’t always believe in ourselves, but other people who don’t even know us that well can have tremendous faith in us. And it’s so easy, just by encouraging people, when they say to me, “Oh, I’ll never even run a 10K,” I’ll just have to chuckle to myself, because, after a couple months, they’re out there running and training, and the next thing you know, they’re running a 10K! And they don’t even remember that old voice, you know, that self-talk of “I’ll never, I can’t.” You know, they did it!

What Happens in Vegas

Hello from Sin City!

I've come out here for a perfect 50 Ways event. It's a women's "friendly" soccer tournament. Nobody under 30 allowed. Women from all over the West gather to enjoy the city and each other, and run around in the desert sun kicking a ball. The teams are divided into: Over 30, Over 40, Over 45, and Over 52 (don't ask me where they got that one). I'm thrilled to be playing on an Over 45 team, with other gals about my speed.

I chuckled today when I heard one of my teammates speaking to her daughter back home on the phone. "Are you getting ready for your game, honey? So am I!"

We had three games today and now I have to quit cuz the gals are chomping at the bit to go to Caesar's Palace for dinner and shopping at FAO Schwartz. Might toss a nickle in a slot machine, but all you gotta do is look at all the glitz and you can see who wins all the wagers around here!

Love,
Peg

26.2 Mama

My friend Stephanie took up marathoning a while back. What fun to talk with her yesterday for the first time since my husband and I moved away from her neck o' the woods in 1994! After cutting the call short to go get the kids from school, I called her back to hear one of her stories again, this time with tape rolling.

Here's a partial transcript:

My son Austin got into [marathoning] when he was 10, through the LA Unified School District…There’s this special program [called Students Run L.A.] sponsored by Honda. They’ve had it for about 13 years now, and basically what they do is they train junior-high-age and high-school-age kids – many of them at-risk kids – to run marathons.

It’s not about racing. It’s not about having a fast time. It’s about the journey and setting a huge – what we call in graduate school a big, hairy, audacious goal, a B-HAG. [Steph, 44?, recently earned her MBA at Pepperdine.] A B-HAG is something that you think never in a million years could you do – like, these at-risk kids, some of them think, ‘Never in a million years will I amount to anything. I’m going to be just like my parents, I’m going to be on welfare, I’m not going to have a job, I’m going to sell drugs, you know, I’m going to be a gangbanger,’ right? So they take these kids and they say, ‘We’re going to train you to run a marathon.’
And I was a coach…

Now, I’ve gotta tell ya, a lot of kids, they come in to the program and they have attitude, and… they can’t even run a mile. But for whatever reason –remember, they choose to be there; it’s a purely optional after-school program – so for whatever reason, they show up, they run a mile, and they think, ‘OK, that wasn’t too bad.’ Then, the next week we’re up to three miles. Then, all of a sudden, they’re running 16, 18 miles! And their posture changes, you know they stand up straight, they’re proud of themselves, they start doing their homework, their grades improve, some of them start running for office and taking on extra-curricular activities in school. But the coolest thing about Students Run L.A. – for 12-15 years they’ve monitored the kids who’ve done this, and there’s this one girl now who’s training for the U.S. Olympic marathon team. That’s cool, but listen, this is the coolest thing about Students Run L.A.: They have a 99% success rate of these kids going on to finish college.

Doesn’t that give you goose bumps?

…I did it because I didn’t know if I could do it. [laughs] And yet, there I was, I thought, if these little 10- and 11-year-olds can do this, then, by God, I can help them. So I got into the program for my own reasons, but I ended up – I’ve trained, by now, more than 200 kids to finish the L.A. Marathon. And it’s so cool because now I go on the campus near where my kids go to high school – they go to two different high schools, but anyway – I go onto this campus, and these kids I’ve known since they were 11 years old, there they are! And they’re like, “Hi, Mrs. Robey!” It is the greatest feeling in the world, it really is.

So I’m a marathon mom, that’s what they call me. My license plate on my minivan is “26.2 Mama.”

Habit Forming

For more than half an hour now, I've been sitting here like Charlie Kaufman (as played by Nicholas Cage) in "Adaptation" -- body slouched at my keyboard, fingers poised to tap out brilliance, mind straying anywhere but toward the task at hand. Every fiber of my being wants to go back to bed, but the (shall we say) non-fibrous part of me is determined not to.

I think of Wayne Dyer, talking about Rumi's poetic advice -- "The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you; don't go back to sleep." Having decided to use this advice to compel himself into an early-rising habit, he made up his mind that whenever he awoke in the wee hours, he would force himself to at least put his feet on the floor.

"Try it," he said, "and if you absolutely must go back to sleep, then learn to sleep in a sitting position, so you can keep your feet on the floor."

So I figure I'm making progress in my bid for better habits. Even if all I do here is sit here, body slouched, fingers poised, mind straying.... at least my feet are on the floor.


Sheila - You're a better dawncracker than I am, Gunga Din! Funny - your "feet on the floor" reminds me of the admonition given my grandmother when she attended the first co-ed college in the country (Oberlin College, 1926). "Young ladies may have gentelman guests in their room as long as they maintain the following rule: Four feet on the floor, and a basket in the door. " (wastebasket) Those were the days!

As you know, my internet was down yesterday, which would have been inordinately frustrating except that I spent most of the day sleeping off a stomach virus. I'll get back in the fray today. I have a ten hour drive to Las Vegas with a plug adaptor - that oughta create productivity, eh? Kinda like your scarf-on-the-chair-arm trick.

Love
Peg

The Way of TODAY (by God!)

Ever tried tying yourself to your chair, in a desperate bid to finish the task at hand? "Desperate times call for desperate measures," right? So I've brought not one but two fresh, hot beverages with me to my desk this morning, and -- God help me! -- I've redeployed my custom-painted silk neck scarf as something of a tether, to bind my left elbow loosely to the arm of the chair. Let the dog bark, let the doorbell ring; come hell or high water, I'm not getting up from this chair until I've clicked "Publish Post" below. So there.

OK, I don't want to use the B-word -- you know, as in "writer's b _ _ _ _" -- but I have been trying to write this [more unmentionable words] chapter for weeks now, this one called Way #18: Lay a Feast for the Muses. Yeegadz, had the Muses truly been coming for dinner, imagine! I'd be frantically dialing the 9-1-1 of pizza delivery services about now. How tacky would THAT be?

Did you ever see the film, "Adaptation," in which the screenwriter Charlie Kaufman struggles with the task of adapting Susan Orlean's The Orchid Thief for the big screen? Oh man, I laughed 'til I cried -- or did I cry 'til I laughed? Either way, it was painfully humorous to watch Charlie Kaufman's character (a screenwriter named Charlie Kaufman) go through his mental, emotional, psychological and sometimes even physical contortions to get the job done. I remember telling my therapist about the scenes in which he's bent over his 1980s-era typewriter, fingers poised -- yeah, more like fingers paralyzed! -- while, in voiceover, his thoughts stray...

"I wish I had some coffee," he thinks. "Yeah, coffee and a muffin... Wait. I should get some writing done and then go get coffee and a muffin... as a reward. Yeah, that's what I'll do." [long pause, fingers still idle, pause... pause........]

"...Banana-Nut, that's a good muffin."

God, I laughed! I have SO been there. I have SO done that. Same with a later scene: Bent over his typewriter again, this time Charlie bursts into a frenzy of typing, while in voiceover he narrates his script's opening line, something about an old-model pickup truck hurtling down a dirt road in Florida's Everglades and turning right at a sign for a nature conservancy (or thereabouts). At the end of this single sentence, our hapless hero sits back from his keyboard, heaves a heavy sigh and says out loud, "I need a break!"

Any writers in the room? Raise your hand if you've been there, done that? You know I'd raise mine, too, but it's tied to the chair just now.

OK, so I told my therapist about these scenes from "Adaptation," together with my confession that this is ME all over the place. She smiled and nodded, knowingly (the way therapists always do, right?). Then, by golly, she earned her long dollars as a professional therapist by saying, "Well, at least he keeps putting himself in the position. He's struggling, to be sure, but he keeps trying, keeps showing up, keeps sitting there in front of his typewriter."

YESS! And I've got another name for it. What Kaufman's neurotic (yet exemplary) character keeps doing in that movie is.... LAYING A FEAST FOR THE MUSES! Because, not to gross anybody out or anything, but when you're hosting a feast for the Muses, the question is not "what's on the menu?" but rather "who?" And the answer, dear one, is always YOU!

Newcomers to this blog may be interested to know that I've been developing this book idea, 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s, for more than five years now. I've been gathering ideas, talking to people, entering writing contests with the proposal, shopping it around to agents and editors. I even upgraded my desktop computer and bought a laptop -- equipping myself, making myself perfectly ready to write the book. I want -- I need -- all available Muses to hover near. So all these years, I have been putting together the best possible, most delicious, visually appealing, awe-inspiring, nutritionally balanced, gloriously celebratory (albeit metaphorical) FEAST that I could possibly muster, so as to wine and dine the divine nine, Los Muses!

So, after signing a book deal with New World Library before Christmas (and considering that such a deal made my feast-laying preparations complete), I chose this chapter, Way #18: Lay a Feast for the Muses, as one of the first chapters I'd write. And yet, the chapter wouldn't come. Try as I might -- this way, that way, every which way but loose -- the words just would not flow! The chapter refused to be tamed!

Now, this week, as I'm welcoming "the good doctor" Peggy Spencer into this project (Welcome again, Peg, and thank you for your WILLINGNESS & READINESS-- two more yummy treats for the gods!), it occurs to me: Maybe the reason this chapter wouldn't come together is that I had not quite finished laying the feast yet.

Are you familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator? Well, whether you are or not, I was in no way surprised, when I took the test, to learn that I am (as I like to put it) "OFF-THE-CHARTS EXTROVERTED." Anyone who knows me knows that. I am a TALKER. I am what today's educators would call (as they do in the cases of both of my children) "high-verbal." ALLLLLL this to say (in my high-verbal way), that I should have known that I needed an assistant on this project. I have needed someone to bounce ideas off of. I have needed someone to talk to about it. I have needed, well, someone to help me lay a feast this royal.

In "Adaptation," Charlie Kaufman invents a twin brother for himself, one who is every bit as easy-going as Charlie himself is neurotic. I hope I've found as good a balance in the thankfully-NOT-invented Peg Spencer.

Well, lookie here. I'm gonna click "Publish," untie my scarf and go fetch my high-verbal kids from school. More soon, I promise.

Sheila - you did it! The Way of TODAY (by God!) !! You are SO FUNNY! Tied yourself to the chair with a silk scarf, did ya? I love it.

Thank you for your kind words about me. I am SO HERE for you, my friend. This will be a glorious feast!

Love,

Peg

Alarmed by my alarm clock

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.

I forgot to tape that to my forehead. MAN is it hard to get out of bed this week!

Well, I'm up at dawn, so I'm here in time for the secrets. But I was supposed to be up two hours ago, "dark and early" as I like to say. I set my clock for 4:30. Yes, 4:30. Only problem is I didn't notice I was in the PM realm, not the AM realm. I woke up on my own around 6:12 and went, "awwwww!" :( Oops!

Speaking of time (aren't I always?), I've spent way too much of it by this point trying to write a blog piece about Way #18: Lay a Feast for the Muses. Once I took the process over to MSWord, so I could have the full range of word-processing tools I know and love, I let myself get mired down again. And again. Sssssiiiiiiiigghhhhhhhhh.... Don't get bogged down, get "blogged" down! Maybe if you think of it, again, as a note to me, or a series of notes to self, rather than "a piece" that will take some pressure off. Would it help if I bug you? "Where's today's blog, Sheila, where is it, huh? Come on, cough it up, girl!" Or encourage you? "You can DO it! I know you can! I have faith in you! You rock!"