What's up with YOU in midlife?

CALL FOR STORIES!

50 Ways to Leave Your 40s

What to Do When Midlife Crisis Is Not Enough

By Sheila Key with Peg Spencer, MD

For more information about this book in progress, visit http://www.50waystoleaveyour40s.com/

or email sheilakey@newmexico.com

Our book, 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s, is a funny, soulful collection of essays, stories and informative sidebars, for people in midlife. Our publisher, New World Library, plans to market it as a gift/personal-growth book. Personally, our goal is to get it into every bathroom (and outhouse) in North America – at least until it gets translated into 26 languages. Then, watch out world!

We’re looking for “lived experience” to flesh out our 50 chapters, which are divided into the four sections of Body, Mind, Soul and Heart (though there is necessarily plenty of overlap of material). Below you'll find chapter lists with thumbnails explaining the key concepts, to give you lots of ideas for the sorts of stories we're seeking.

50 Ways focuses (obviously) on the late-40s/early-50s passage, but pretty much any “midlife” story will fit. Please send us brief anecdotes related to our chapter ideas. Also welcome: your favorite movies, music, books, pop-cultural references, jokes, one-liners, quotations, websites... really, whatever ideas our chapter lists evoke in you.

Send it all! We'll sort it out!

Don’t worry about where your story “fits.” We’ll sort that out, too. Don't even worry if it's well-written! Just tell us your story in your own words. While we are always on the look-out for what pro photographers call "the money shot" (and we -- or, at least, I, Sheila -- call "the quotable quote"), we are happy to accept what you've written, however you've written it, and, with your permission, to "pretty it up" later.

Finally, as you may have guessed, this ain’t a payin’ gig. As mentioned, we reserve the right to edit what you send – or to not use it at all. In any case, you have our undying gratitude and at least a chance of seeing your story in print – coming in Fall 2007 to a bookseller near you (ISBN 1-57731-545-6).

SPREAD THE WORD!! -- hopefully RIGHT NOW, while the people in your life still have the chance to submit their story, too!

Email your input to sheilakey@newmexico.com. Please include your real name, your (real!) age, and the first name (real or not) that you’d like us to use for you in our book and/or blog.

DEADLINE: August 31, 2006 (though sooner is better, as we could then use your input to stimulate further comments here at the blog). Many thanks!

Call for Stories: BODY

Section One: BODY

Correlations: Earth/North/Midnight

Concepts: physical health & fitness, material world, nature, all that is tangible

1. Way #1: Just Keep Breathing -- conscious use of breath, whether for stress reduction, in synch with exercise, for meditation, or anything else that’s breath-related (snoring, asthma, high-elevation endurance, etc.)
2. Way #2: Love Thy Body as Thy Self -- body image, beauty, physical changes (graying, wrinkling, sagging, spreading, fatigue, menopause, metabolism slowing down, etc.); listening to your body; loving your body in spite of it all.
3. Way #3: Don’t Let Gravity Get You Down -- posture, musculoskeletal issues, Alexander Method, Rolfing, bone health, “inversion boots” (or chairs), skin sagging, plastic surgery (boob jobs, tummy tucks, face lifts, collagen injections, permanent make-up, Botox, etc.), also repair of pelvic floor, bladder or uterine prolapse, etc. Plus weight training and other ways to “pump [clap!] YOU up!”
4. Way #4: Get Your Motor Runnin’ -- the importance of warming up first, how you rev up a slowing metabolism; caffeine and other stimulants, feeling “stuck” and how to get going; also the Eastern concept of the “dahn-jon” energy centers of the body.
5. Way #5: S-t-r-e-t-c-h---I-t---O-u-t -- Now that we’re warmed up, it’s time to s-t-r-e-t-c-h for muscle maintenance, flexibility, and to prevent injury. Did you learn this the hard way? Got a stretching disaster to share? Also, in the metaphorical sense: stretching beyond comfort zone, expanding horizons. Plus stretching in the sense of making something last.
6. Way #6: Run for Your Life! -- running and walking for fitness; running/walking buddies or groups; any kind of aerobics; keeping things “running” well in your life; “Pacing” yourself; races/marathons. Also foot problems and care, shoe stories, etc.
7. Way #7: Pause -- sabbatical, taking breaks and naps, recovery from hard exertion, meditation; how do you refresh & rejuvenate yourself? Also menopause
8. Way #8: Play Ball! -- This is mostly about the big “fitness” ball, used to strengthen core, improve balance and provide a gentler form of exercise; ball sports; the importance of play in general; also men’s health issues, prostate, male menopause, impotence, etc.
9. Way #9: Eat, Drink & Be Wary -- Changing your eating habits for healthier living; staying hydrated; experiences with fad diets, protein powder, power bars and other shortcuts; stories about comfort foods; overuse of caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, sleeping pills, recreational drugs, laxatives, etc.
10. Way #10: Take a Load Off Fanny -- body weight issues – gains and losses, “yo-yo” experiences; ALSO purging clutter, getting rid of extraneous stuff; giving things away; taking load off body, mind, and the environment. “Empty Nest” issues. Letting go of emotional baggage.
11. Way #11: “Fung” & “Shway” to Free Your Chi -- We could really use some feng shui stories (arranging your material sphere for balance and harmony with nature) or any stories about “rearranging your stuff.” ALSO what is your “place” in your life’s second half? Are you in “alignment”?
12. Way #12: Take the Waters -- hydration, skincare (moisturizers, sunscreen) Any skin cancer stories? Also swimming, water aerobics, boating, water sports, beach bumming. Tell us your SPA stories. How do you hydrate? Special drinks – tonics, elixirs, share you signature drink recipes!
13. Way #13: Spurn Your Bra -- clothing & other comforts. Let ‘em dangle! Tight bands and belts cut your chi. (Especially for him: “In the clearing stand your boxers.”) How has your fashion sense changed with age? Also: got La-Z-Boy? What are your other comforts? On a more serious note, this chapter also deals with breast cancer.
14. Way #14: Keep On Rockin’ Me Baby -- Kama Sutra, dahling! We wanna hear your sex-in-midlife stories! What’s your favorite euphemism for “doing the nasty”? Let’s talk, not just sex, but also drugs & rock’n’roll. Still rockin’ with your garage band? Any “lived experiences” involving drugs, legal and otherwise? Survivor stories? Hitting-bottom stories? Lived-to-tell-about-it stories?

Call for Stories: MIND

Section Two: MIND

Correlations: Air/East/Sunrise

Concepts: brain functions, thoughts, ideas, learning, knowledge, imagination, intuition, dreams (the sleep kind & aspirations), language & math

1. Way #15: Please Make a Note of It -- writing as a memory aid, taking notes, journaling concepts and ideas, writing an autobiography or a memoir!
2. Way #16: Fuhgeddaboudit! -- the value of purposeful forgetting, the importance of forgiveness, letting go--of past, grudges, bad habits. Also memory loss and aids to memory.
3. Way #17: Go With the Flow -- yielding to forces bigger than yourself, finding deeper meaning by aligning with spirit, immersing yourself in meaningful activity. Also intuition, serendipity, surrender, acceptance.
4. Way #18: Book ‘Em Danno -- making plans for “must-do’s” for the rest of your life, booking time with important people in our lives, financial planning and other important midlife planning. Also reading for learning and enjoyment, and booking your “50 thousand mile checkup.”
5. Way #19: Lay a Feast for the Muses -- feeding your creativity. Need inspiration? Be the food of the gods! Make yourself the best possible material for the Muses to work with; answer your creative urges; honor your authentic self. Also wanted: feasting stories!
6. Way #20: Say It Loud, Sing It Proud -- the power of words & of voice. Is your inner voice a supporter or a detractor? Communication, speaking your truth, chanting, singing, vocalizing, oral history. Also the healing qualities of sound.
7. Way #21: Know Your Yin From Your Yang -- duality and balance, change, East/West medicine: energy meridians, chi flow, stagnation, chakras. Also menopause as yin deficiency.
8. Way #22: Seize the Night – speaking of duality… don’t forget to “embrace the dark side”! Tap your subconscious, dream big, “sleep on it,” get up “dark & early”! Long nights of the soul, howling at the moon, dreaming. Also insomnia, sleep issues.
9. Way #23: Shake It Up Baby Now -- getting out of that rut! Doing something new, or something old in new ways. Growing your neural pathways and retraining your brain.
10. Way #24: Imagine All the People -- the power of vision & visualization, both individually and collectively; imagination, ritual, collective consciousness, community. Visualization in health and healing. Also vision in terms of eyesight.
11. Way #25: Believe It or Don’t – keeping an open mind, the power of prayer. Beliefs can help us, can also limit us. Can you list your “Top Ten Beliefs”? Have your beliefs changed as you’ve gotten older?
12. Way #26: Dance on the Head of a Pin -- pondering those unanswerable questions, life balance, striving to dwell among the angels – or even count yourself among the angels – on earth! Also physical balance as it relates to aging, proprioception.

Call for Stories: SOUL

Section Three: SOUL

Correlations: Fire/South/Noon

Concepts: actions, deeds, livelihood, spirituality, destiny, the eternal; also encounters

1. Way #27: Get Your Hands Dirty -- the value of hard work, gardening, planting trees, getting “down in the trenches,” building something from scratch. “If you build it they will come.” Also handwashing.
2. Way #28: Go Win One for the Team – “The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.” “Our diversity is our strength.” “Many hands make light work.” Group efforts, group process, teamwork. Also team sports.
3. Way #29: Sh@t or Get Off the Pot -- tick-tock, y’all! You gonna do that thing you’ve been talking about forever or what? Just do it! “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it” Getting started with the new, also dumping [sic] [or sick!] the old. Plus colon health. Got any hemorrhoid stories? Colonoscopy tales? Colonics, anyone?
4. Way #30: Hit the Road Jack -- Road trip! Explore the world, get out of town, enjoy a change of scene, visit far-flung friends. Staying healthy on the road. Also, the journey as metaphor --- as long as there’s movement within, there’s growth.
5. Way #31: Get Lost -- This is where the adventure begins! “Not all who wander are lost.” Tap into the power of chaos, make wonderful new discoveries. How do YOU “get lost” for R and R? What do you love to “get lost” in? A Buddhist master tells us to “refrain from doing the habitual thing” – this is how to awaken the soul. Plus: What would YOU pack in your “midlife survival kit”?
6. Way #32: Stop, Look & Listen – Time Out! Stop to smell the roses, appreciate nature, art, music. Notice! Use your senses, savor it, dwell in the now. Take stock of your life, be the observer. Attitude of gratitude. Also: “Eh? What’s that you say?” Tell us of your hearing loss and/or your lasic surgery or first pair of bifocals.
7. Way #33: Break On Through to the Other Side -- achieve the “aha” experience, even by tiny degrees; push for personal best, “go as far as you can, then one step further.” Find the edge. Push the envelope. Psychological breakthrough, transformation.
8. Way #34: Act Ageless -- letting go of the concept of “I’m too old to---” Fifty is just a number. Have you gotten any younger lately (i.e. lowered your “functional age” by getting into better shape)? Transcend the mundane; touch the eternal, dwell in the timeless. Do something “for the ages.” Revel in the “New Age.” Also, any stories related to The Great Law of the Iroquois Confederacy: “In our every deliberation, we must consider the impact of our decisions on the next seven generations”?
9. Way #35: Mind Your Karma, Trim Your Dogma – practicing tolerance and the Golden Rule. Know-It-Alls and Holier-Than-Thous are such a drag! By now, can you resist the craving to correct someone’s misused word? Can you refrain from insisting that yours is the only “right way” to do things? How did you learn to “live & let live”? Any “pay it forward” stories?
10. Way #36: En-Lighten Up -- deepening spirituality in midlife; the search for inner peace and enlightenment. The spiritual search is a serious matter, but be gentle with yourself. How do you lighten your soul’s burden?
11. Way #37: Shine On You Crazy Diamond – dazzling the world with your unique self! Dr. Maria Montessori believed that everyone and everything in creation has a cosmic task to fulfill. Do you know your cosmic task? How did you discover it? Also, forget what the neighbors might think, and be a wild and crazy guy! Some of history’s most brilliant diamonds have been a little (or a lot) crazy. Shrinks don’t use that word, of course, but we’re interested in success stories regarding mental illness. Pseudonyms welcome!
12. Way #38: Look Death Right in the Eye – A brush with death can change a person for the better. Catching a glimpse of the grim reaper across the room can wake a person up to LIFE. Has it happened to you? Also: losing loved ones, planning for the inevitable, living like you were dying. Anyone care to write your own eulogy?

Call for Stories: HEART

Section Four: HEART

Correlations: Water/West/Sunset

Concepts: emotions, feelings, relationships, memories

1. Way #39: OK, Have a Crisis Already! – this cliché is like a get-out-of-jail-free card. If people are expecting you to have a crisis in midlife, then hey! Why not? We’re looking for stories on all the classics – the new motorcycle or convertible, say, or the sudden urge to climb Everest – as well as your own unique “take” on what it means to have a midlife crisis.

2. Way #40: Lose It or LOSE IT! – Can’t get no satisfaction? Then send the crazymakers packin’—before they make you crazier! As in the MIND section, where we devote a chapter to purposeful forgetting, here we encourage you to consider making some purposeful losses. Paradoxically, such losses can bring immeasurable gains! We're especially interested in stories of confronting addiction.
   

3. Way #41: Grieve – Then there are the losses we don’t choose. With aging comes all sorts of loss, and mourning is the appropriate response. Grieving your loss of youth can free you to enjoy more fully your new status as Elder! Also, have you noticed you’re attending more funerals these days? Lean into your grief and share your pain!

4. Way #42: Make the Call – Speaking of funerals… do you really want to go to your grave without making peace with that certain someone? Come on! Time’s a wastin’. Extend the proverbial olive branch. Even if it gets rejected, you may gain a sense of peace. Or have you already done so? Tell us about it!
   

5. Way #43: Party “Hearty” – Kick out the jams, man! It’s party time! Whether small and intimate, or huge and raucous, this is a tradition worth preserving. How do YOU plan to ring in your 50s? Or how DID you? In this chapter, we celebrate celebration as a way of life -- it's not just for special occasions anymore! “keeping it real,” relating always from the heart; also heart health.
   

6. Way #44: Respect Your Elders – No matter how grown-up you get to be, remember: There will always be others older and wiser. Besides, older is where we’re all headed, so we might as well learn from those who’ve gone before. Bask in their wisdom! We're especially interested in stories about aging-parent issues. Are you a member of the "sandwich generation," caring for both children and aging parents? Tell us about it!
   

7. Way #45: Respect Your Youngers – Remember, too, that older isn’t the only way to be wiser. There's much to be learned from looking at the world through children's eyes. Let your job as role model bring out your best self! Are you a mentor? A Big Brother/Big Sister? A foster parent? Did you become a parent for the first time in midlife? Do tell!
   

8. Way #46: Love, Love, Love – romance in midlife, whether with a new mate or within your decades-deep relationship; Also, love as a way of life, not just for your intimates, but for every sentient being! Helped a stranger lately? What's YOUR Love Story?
   

9. Way #47: Touch & Glow – Do you get by with a little help from your friends? Hey! Where would we be without them? Tending to friendships; the importance of human contact and getting/staying in touch with feelings.
   

10. Way #48: Launch Your Legacy – The Heart realm is about memories. How do you want to be remembered? We're way beyond first impressions now; what will be your lasting impression? Tell us what you want chiseled on your gravestone!
    

11. Way #49: Channel the Divine – "Hallelujah! ... Hallelujah!” Did you know Haydn wrote the Messiah in 21 days? Forsaking food and sleep, he just wrote and wrote as if there were no tomorrow! Many New Age authors insist that every one of us has access to this sort of divine inspiration. If you've experienced anything like it, we'd sure love to hear your story!

12. Way #50: Leave ‘Em Laughing – What better way to "leave your 40s" than to leave them laughing! Laughter heals; the good doctor Norman Cousins told us so (OK, he wrote of it) a generation ago. Even if you don't have a story to share, we hope you'll send us lots and lots of jokes.
    

HAVE WE LEFT ANYTHING OUT??

If you've stuck with us this deep into our blog, then we're going to go ahead and count you as "interested." And interested is definitely a good way to be!

Have you got a midlife story to tell, but you can't see quite where it fits in our book? Well, send it to us anyway!! First of all, if we like the story, we'll figure out a place to put it. But perhaps even more important, even with 50 chapters, each of which is multifaceted, we fret now and then that there's a glaring omission we haven't noticed yet -- and you may be just the person to point it out to us!

So DO TELL! Send us your story, even if -- indeed, especially if -- you don't see a chapter about it in any of the foregoing calls for stories.

Thanks!

Writers in the Storm

Sheila and I are just back from an intensive week at 9500 ft breathing rarefied air and writing like madwomen. It was as lovely and fulfilling as it looks.



This is the view from our cabin porch. Talk about inspiration!





Our work "space". Note timer, resource books, Angel cards and, of course, caffeine!



Clowning at the cabin.



Relaxing in town on the 4th of July.

Blog back prompts

I'd like to post a few specific questions here for readers to respond to. These are ideas/events/passages that many share, and we're looking for stories to include in the book. You don't have to be literary about it, just tell us your story and we can re-tell it if necessary.

1. Tell us about something new you did in your 40's or 50's.
2. What do you do for relaxation?
3. What is a creative outlet for you?

(Ack! Someone at the door. Di and Sheila - please add more!)

Peg 4/21

On again, off again

Hi Peg. Hi readers all. Peg is right: internet access is catch-as-catch-can here at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. Actually, all the buildings of this world-class facility have wireless networks people can use for free, but that doesn't always guarantee I can access the internet -- indeed, I'm off more than on, it seems. All the walls around here are lined with lead, so cell phones are useless, and I suspect the same culprit is what's frustrating my attempts to go online. My email isn't getting to me -- indeed, for some inexplicable reason, it's not even getting to my internet service provider, so web mail does me no good. I realize it was not that long ago we survived just fine without all these technologies, but now that I'm accustomed to having internet access on demand... well, these current difficulties are harshing my mellow.

I'll survive. And I'll be back at'cha on Monday, if not sooner.

Hi Sheila! Good to hear from you, from your lead-lined Hall of Health. Don't worry; life goes on and your bloggees are still here.

I've been doing some research for The Book and have discovered some cool things. For example, it is okay to freeze water bottles but microwaving plastic doesn't get blanket approval. You can make your own Oral Rehydration Solution at home, and I have some recipes. Human Growth Hormone is NOT the fountain of youth. It's possible to "overdose" on water.

My research location is none other than our favorite Napoli coffee shop, where I think I've just about overstayed my welcome. The mocha and scone are long gone, and I need a break before I start putting some of this acquired wisdom into my own words.

Write on!

Love,

Peg

Oh, Hey! I just saw that I am now able to do more than just comment! I knew this was coming, but forgot. (mid-life memory? whassat?) Thanks for including me. -- Di

I'm leaving on a jet plane

Sing it with me: "...Don't know when I'll be back again. Oh babe, I hate to go..."

OK, I actually do know that I'll be back on the 23rd, late. And I don't really hate to go, because I'm going in order to be a caregiver for my brother, who's battling liver cancer, so there's absolutely no hate involved.

Anyway, as soon as a fellow passenger here at the "charging station" near Gate A12 told me that she was discovering free wi-fi, well, I couldn't resist doing a little blogging from Albuquerque's newly (or, perhaps, continually) renovated International Sunport. So... here it is.

OH! And none too soon. They're calling my flight. Ciao for now. I'll 'blog' ya next from the Twin Cities. One of my other brothers, the one who actually lives in that area, has tix for us for tonight's Twins-(um?)Yankees game. I think it's the Yanks; know for sure it's the Twins, of course. So, Peg! By tonight I'll be "doing research" for our Way #8: Play Ball!

Gotta go.

Enjoy the game, Sheila, and the family time. Best wishes go with you for your brother's health. I'll be doing my best to format those docs we discussed and do my marginalia assignments. Today while you were flying, I was "doing research" for our Way #(oh dear, I don't know them like you do)"Win one for the team" by running line on three consecutive soccer games. Lordy I'm whupped from trying to keep pace with 14 year olds! Will this keep me youthful when I turn 50?

Love
Peg

Dear Readers - I believe Sheila does not have internet access where she is. I'm sure she'd be blogging daily if she did. Please bear with us (all you dozens of loyal readers) while we both write outside the blog. She'll be back in a few days.
Peg 4/18/06

Middle Aged Memory

Reader, if you can relate, let us know with a comment or a story about your own memory "issues"!

Middle Aged Memory

I remember exactly what I need until the moment I leave the room in search of it. It’s as if a magic breeze flows through the house, sweeping my mind clean of its every intention the moment I cross a sill. Gone. Empty. Forgotten. I stand there, bemused, searching for the thought I had possessed a scant moment before. Where was I going? What was I looking for?

If I fight it, if I get angry or frustrated, if I grieve my aging acuity, all is lost.

But if I stand receptive, in silence, lo and behold. The currents swirl, the breeze comes around again. Gentle as a settling leaf, it drops my thought back into my head, and twists away chuckling.

Joker.

What! Your thought comes back? You mean, without even having to go back to the room where it was conceived? Wow! Now there's an awesome middle-aged memory!

Hahaha! I've heard "proper names & then nouns" go first. Where I work, we just substitute the word "thing" for whatever we've forgotten. It gets pretty comical!

Seriously, though, I got some great advice from a wise man (yes!) who said, "You know you know it. Just ask!" What?? Well, one day Dave & I were headed out and I was upstairs thinking, "when I go down, I need to get the house key out of the drawer" (don't ask). Shortly thereafter, I go downstairs and into the kitchen (well past said drawer) and think "now *what* was I going to do?" I remembered my wise friend and stood there in the kitchen, back to the counter and said to meself "I know you can tell me what I'm trying to remember. I've been told to 'just ask,' so, please? And then it came, "the key." How do you like that? Try it sometime!

The Twins sent those Yankees packin'

Last night’s ballgame was fabulous. It was against the Yankees, after all. The Twins had been ahead 4-0 early on, then the Yanks made it 4-5, where it stood heading into the bottom of the ninth – and wouldn’t you know those Twins would go and score two on a single by Justin Murnow! (Don't know if I'm spelling that name right; except for such biggies as the Olympics, Superbowl and World Series, I don't follow sports much.) As he went to the plate, the Twins had runners on 2^nd and 3^rd and only two outs, so those runners were running by time Murnow’s grounder left his bat. Then it was all over for the big, bad Yankees -- and for those obnoxious Yankee fans who were sitting right across from us. Very exciting end to a very good game! And now I can say I’ve seen the exalted Yankees play live.

Only wish I hadn’t done any business with the beer vendors -- not after those two glasses of red wine I had earlier at the home my brother’s friend. Made for a yucky Easter morning. You’d think, "at my age" (a phrase always spoken in a little-old-lady voice), that I’d know better than to mix my grape ande grain. Ugh!

Sounds exciting, Sheila! Now you can check off "See the exalted Yankees play live" from your List. Keep us posted as to your exploits up there in the North country. Love, Peg

(PS I've archived all the blog entries up 'til this one into Word files on my laptop. Now I can check that off my list, at least for this week!)

Hail Mary, Mother of God

Peg! Check out this email I got this afternoon:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Flashing You the Big Five-Oh!":

HI Sheila,

i was sent by your pal Diane whom i have had the pleasure of corresponding with via Zaadz.com.
How may I be of service to you? What in particlar do you need feedback or support around? I'd be happy to offer support.

Mary

Is that cool or what?

HEY, DIANE -- Thanks for sending Mary our way! I sent her a quickie email on my way out to get the kids, as she was kind enough to provide her direct e-dress. (Or is it idress nowadays?) Suggested she explore the "Official Website," starting with the Chapter Titles & Teasers. Copied in the link... that is, in the email I did. All these months as a blogger and still I'm html-phobic! I'm gonna invite her to become a member of the blog...

MARY?! ARE YOU CHECKING BACK? Did you get my invitation? Did you explore the Official 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s website? http://www.50waystoleaveyour40s.com/index.html

READERS ALL! To go straight to the chapter list -- to read up on the "50 Ways" themselves -- go to http://www.50waystoleaveyour40s.com/chapters.html. Way better than any old ordinary table of contents, this one Diane has rigged up with a cool little roll-over utility: just roll your mouse over any one of the Ways, and a thumbnail description of that chapter will appear.
Thank you, Diane!

(I don't call the woman WebsterGirl for nothing! Picture her in superhero's spandex...)

OK, I gotta go.

Love, love, LOVE to you all, Diane, Peg and now Mary. See how great love is? Great Goddess Almighty, Mary arrives out of the blue saying what can I do? Care to lengthen this poem?

Wow,

Sheila

Fantastish, my deah! Welcome, Ms. Mary! Please do come back, share your stories, and tell all your friends to come too!

Love
Peg

Authors, Incorporated

Hey! Lookie here! I'm posting this at the very minute the moon is reaching full!

Just a quick note to all who may care: Peg and I "sealed the deal" today, signing our agreement as the moon waxed to full within the Zodiac's most balanced, harmonious and cooperative sign, Libra. Woo-hoo! And on the 13th of the month, no less.

(Pop Quiz! How many full moons are there in a year?)

So! Sheila Key and Peggy Spencer are now officially book-writing partners (even if we are not, according to the strict letter of the law, incorporated). Congratulations to us!


P.S. Peg -- Diane told me how you can make your full name appear under Contributors, at the top. Let me know if you're interested.

I'm so excited I have to post in my favorite purple. Sealed deal on the full moon! It's gotta be good luck!

I'll feel 100% settled when we get the contract from NWL and make it Official, but, as we said earlier today after signing, it's our commitment to each other that's most important.

I'm honored, pleased, excited, tickled purple!

Write on!

Love,

Peg

PS Sure, put my full name at the top.

PPS I know I should be doing ALL my writing for 50 Ways, but I'm not. I've been writing on my pegspot blog (true confessions). But hey, it's all practice, right? Please do come visit.
PegSpot

Sheila here again -- you'll know it's me by the orange I wear... (now that I finally found the "compose" screen with the text-color tool so obviously available!).

Diane told me, to change your name as it appears under Contributors, you'd have to go in at your end, Peg, under Edit Profile, and change your Display Name. Diane said changes in this field will affect all the places where your name is currently auto-generated as peg. If you'd rather not be Peggy Spencer MD throughout the known blogosphere, please choose a comfortable alternative. In any case, my internal English teacher wants to insist that you at least capitalize, my dear partner!

Done! I compromised. Did the capitalization, did the full name, left off the MD. It's in my profile anyway.

You look good in orange!

peg --oops, I mean Peggy Spencer, Medical Doctor!!!

The moon may be waning now, but I'm still grinning.
I like the 'new you' under Contributors.

orangely, Sheila

So clean it shines

Good morning, Peg. And it IS still morning, how about that? I've been busy-busy. Looking forward to our first beefy work session at noon -- and glad to be meeting over here this time. I always owe a debt of gratitude to my guests, for the clean house they inspire me to create.

Hey, did I ever tell you about "cleaning exercise" that comes at the end of my Dahn yoga classes? It's another story, to be sure, but permit me to boast. I not only swept. And I didn't even mop. I got down on my hands and knees, as we do after yoga, and scrubbed the floor! OK, not the whole floor; I stopped at the back hallway. Still, together with the major "tidy-up blast" we did last weekend, it's looking fairly decent around here, if I say so myself.

Hey -- it's you on the phone! Sandwich? Sure: turkey & provolone on whole wheat, w/everything. Thanks for asking! See you soon.

More from 26.2 Mama

A couple days ago I posted a tiny bit of the transcript from my interview with Stephanie Robey, my marathoning friend in L.A. Here's more of what she had to say -- indeed, this is the "meat of the matter" and a wonderful contribution to Way #4: Run for Your Life!

What I learned from marathoning – you were talking about how you trip yourself up, how things get out of control – well, that happened to me, Sheila, in a huge way about 7 or 8 years ago. I had a falling out with my brother and my dad about a business deal, and it just seemed like my life was so out of control. I had three businesses going and everything was out of control. My finances..., my marriage… I just felt like everything was out of control, right? I think that’s why the whole idea of marathoning appealed to me.

They say that people who choose to do [marathons] are just complete control freaks. ‘Cause, you know, it’s all about YOU! [laughs] Yeah, they say anyone who... does any kind of ultra-sporting, that they are just complete control freaks. What you learn is that you are completely in control!

You know, you can do a thing – even a thing as big as this – if you just break it up into bite-size chunks. But there is no way you can go out and run 26.2 miles without training. There’s just no way. I know people who are cross-country champions, people who are really elite runners, and (after their first marathon) they say, ‘Well, I’m a really good distance runner, I'm fast, I run a 6- 7-minute mile. I thought I’d have no problem on a marathon. And I was doing really great until I hit 16 miles. Then I crashed.”

The thing about marathoning is, it doesn’t matter who you are, you have to train for it. Your body --- It’s such a huge feat on your body that you have to break it up. You have to get your body into some kind of condition to run it. And it takes time! It takes, minimum, 4 months, and you should allow 6 months...

Now, I look at everything in terms of, "OK, here’s the goal. Here’s the Big, Hairy Audacious Goal: I want to sell my company. Here’s the goal: I want X amount of dollars." So, then you just turn around and go, “Well, what’s the training schedule? What are we going to do -- monthly, weekly, daily -- to meet this goal?” You have to work it out. “Where am I at the halfway point? Where am I at the three-quarter point? What are my milestones?” Just like in the marathon! Then you know, when you get into it, you learn the process, you’ve laid out your whole plan. And it doesn’t have to be like a 50-page business plan. It could be a mental plan, but you’ve laid it out, so you know, “By this date, I’m here.” And when you hit that date, if you’re not there, well, you readjust. And it keeps you from panicking. It keeps you from panicking.

Same thing when you’re running a marathon: You’re at that start line, the gun goes off, you’ve trained, you don’t know what your time is going to be, but you know you’re ready, and you know, in that first mile, you actually have to hold yourself back, because you have to conserve your energy.

And when you hit the first 5K, you think, “Hey, I just ran a 5K!” You’re not thinking, “Oh my God, I still have 23 miles to go.” You never think that. You think, “I’ve done the 5K.” Pretty soon, “Oh, I just ran a 10K.” Soon after that, it’s “Look, I’ve finished the half-marathon.”

OK, then you hit the wall, and everything in your mind and body says, “Oh my God, stop now!” And yet, you’re going, “I only have a 10K to go! Look how far I’ve come, and all I have left to do is 6 miles.” You know, you just start breaking it down that way, and that's --- That has helped me tremendously with everything in life. I don’t care if it’s gardening, if it’s remodeling the house, if it’s helping my husband get a new career going, whatever it is, I stop and say, “What’s the goal?” and “Let’s break it down.”

Even turning 40 and 45 and all that stuff, even at that point, I’m able to now say, “OK, when I’m 50, I want to be here. Where am I today? How difficult is that? Is it really possible? And what do I need to do to get there?”

So, getting back to the whole control issue, you know, people are called control freaks, and we take that to be an insult, really. But in actuality, it’s not an insult. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being in control. It’s just being in control of yourself verses controlling other people. There’s a big difference.

It just occurs to me as I said that, that the best part about coaching kids to run the marathon – and now I have a team of women runners that I run with – is that, it’s so funny: We as individuals don’t always believe in ourselves, but other people who don’t even know us that well can have tremendous faith in us. And it’s so easy, just by encouraging people, when they say to me, “Oh, I’ll never even run a 10K,” I’ll just have to chuckle to myself, because, after a couple months, they’re out there running and training, and the next thing you know, they’re running a 10K! And they don’t even remember that old voice, you know, that self-talk of “I’ll never, I can’t.” You know, they did it!

Way #8: Play Ball!

Welcome back, Peg! It was fun to read your post from the road. I know what happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas, but, you mentioned playing three games with your 45+ women's team... May I ask: How did your team do? Don't want to come right out and ask, "Did you win?" because I know it's not always about winning. But I did want to ask how y'all felt about, you know, what happened in Vegas.

Of course you may ask. We actually played another game the following morning at 8am, for a tournament total of 4 games. Our record was 0:2:2. That's 0 wins, 2 ties, and 2 losses. We were actually quite pleased with that given our past record (pathetic) and our numbers (too few healthy, too many injured). As to what else "happened in Vegas"...I'm afraid we're all too old, er, I mean, wise for any craziness. We dined, we (mostly window-) shopped, we people watched. We noticed that our shoes were flat and our chests covered, as contrasted to the more "typical" (if there is such a thing) Las Vegas female tourist. We congratulated ourselves on our good sense and pain-free backs as a result. Oh, and we ate at In-N-Out Burger twice! French fries fresh off the potato - yum! I didn't gamble a single cent.

Also, Peg. I was thinking... How would you like to 'play ball' on this chapter? I myself am not much of an athlete, at least not in terms of team sports. But as you know from my notes in The Tome (translation: our big, three-ring Book of the Book), team sports has a place in this chapter. I hadn't thought it would be the central place -- that, I thought, would be the big exercise ball they use in gyms these days -- but now I'm thinking (oh no, I feel a metaphor a'comin')...

How 'bout we run a reverse play? How about I pass the ball to you on this one?

I'm open, I'm open! Running down the line, ready for a pass, I'll receive, shoot and score!!!

The exercise-ball bit becomes a sidebar that I write, and the team-sports bit becomes the central chapter essay, written by YOU, the new rookie (um) runningback on this project! (OK, tell me some of the positions in soccer -- since, in my ignorance, I'm trotting out words from the other kind of football.)

You be the sweeper (that's the last defender before the goalkeeper - crucial position). I'll be the left (as in "out in left field" to mix metaphors) midfielder.

What do you say, Peg? Wanna "Play Ball"?

I'm game. Kickoff in five, four.....let's talk! Love, Peg

Love, Sheila

P.S. from PS - For this chapter, I'm thinking not only about writing about my experience with soccer (stay active, do a team sport, etc - include other ball sports like racquetball and tennis, other team sports like kickball, softball), but also about "stepping up to the plate" - getting involved in something you believe in, take action. Like your "get in the game" and "get off the bench" notes for this chapter. As I said, let's huddle!

What Happens in Vegas

Hello from Sin City!

I've come out here for a perfect 50 Ways event. It's a women's "friendly" soccer tournament. Nobody under 30 allowed. Women from all over the West gather to enjoy the city and each other, and run around in the desert sun kicking a ball. The teams are divided into: Over 30, Over 40, Over 45, and Over 52 (don't ask me where they got that one). I'm thrilled to be playing on an Over 45 team, with other gals about my speed.

I chuckled today when I heard one of my teammates speaking to her daughter back home on the phone. "Are you getting ready for your game, honey? So am I!"

We had three games today and now I have to quit cuz the gals are chomping at the bit to go to Caesar's Palace for dinner and shopping at FAO Schwartz. Might toss a nickle in a slot machine, but all you gotta do is look at all the glitz and you can see who wins all the wagers around here!

Love,
Peg

26.2 Mama

My friend Stephanie took up marathoning a while back. What fun to talk with her yesterday for the first time since my husband and I moved away from her neck o' the woods in 1994! After cutting the call short to go get the kids from school, I called her back to hear one of her stories again, this time with tape rolling.

Here's a partial transcript:

My son Austin got into [marathoning] when he was 10, through the LA Unified School District…There’s this special program [called Students Run L.A.] sponsored by Honda. They’ve had it for about 13 years now, and basically what they do is they train junior-high-age and high-school-age kids – many of them at-risk kids – to run marathons.

It’s not about racing. It’s not about having a fast time. It’s about the journey and setting a huge – what we call in graduate school a big, hairy, audacious goal, a B-HAG. [Steph, 44?, recently earned her MBA at Pepperdine.] A B-HAG is something that you think never in a million years could you do – like, these at-risk kids, some of them think, ‘Never in a million years will I amount to anything. I’m going to be just like my parents, I’m going to be on welfare, I’m not going to have a job, I’m going to sell drugs, you know, I’m going to be a gangbanger,’ right? So they take these kids and they say, ‘We’re going to train you to run a marathon.’
And I was a coach…

Now, I’ve gotta tell ya, a lot of kids, they come in to the program and they have attitude, and… they can’t even run a mile. But for whatever reason –remember, they choose to be there; it’s a purely optional after-school program – so for whatever reason, they show up, they run a mile, and they think, ‘OK, that wasn’t too bad.’ Then, the next week we’re up to three miles. Then, all of a sudden, they’re running 16, 18 miles! And their posture changes, you know they stand up straight, they’re proud of themselves, they start doing their homework, their grades improve, some of them start running for office and taking on extra-curricular activities in school. But the coolest thing about Students Run L.A. – for 12-15 years they’ve monitored the kids who’ve done this, and there’s this one girl now who’s training for the U.S. Olympic marathon team. That’s cool, but listen, this is the coolest thing about Students Run L.A.: They have a 99% success rate of these kids going on to finish college.

Doesn’t that give you goose bumps?

…I did it because I didn’t know if I could do it. [laughs] And yet, there I was, I thought, if these little 10- and 11-year-olds can do this, then, by God, I can help them. So I got into the program for my own reasons, but I ended up – I’ve trained, by now, more than 200 kids to finish the L.A. Marathon. And it’s so cool because now I go on the campus near where my kids go to high school – they go to two different high schools, but anyway – I go onto this campus, and these kids I’ve known since they were 11 years old, there they are! And they’re like, “Hi, Mrs. Robey!” It is the greatest feeling in the world, it really is.

So I’m a marathon mom, that’s what they call me. My license plate on my minivan is “26.2 Mama.”

Habit Forming

For more than half an hour now, I've been sitting here like Charlie Kaufman (as played by Nicholas Cage) in "Adaptation" -- body slouched at my keyboard, fingers poised to tap out brilliance, mind straying anywhere but toward the task at hand. Every fiber of my being wants to go back to bed, but the (shall we say) non-fibrous part of me is determined not to.

I think of Wayne Dyer, talking about Rumi's poetic advice -- "The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you; don't go back to sleep." Having decided to use this advice to compel himself into an early-rising habit, he made up his mind that whenever he awoke in the wee hours, he would force himself to at least put his feet on the floor.

"Try it," he said, "and if you absolutely must go back to sleep, then learn to sleep in a sitting position, so you can keep your feet on the floor."

So I figure I'm making progress in my bid for better habits. Even if all I do here is sit here, body slouched, fingers poised, mind straying.... at least my feet are on the floor.


Sheila - You're a better dawncracker than I am, Gunga Din! Funny - your "feet on the floor" reminds me of the admonition given my grandmother when she attended the first co-ed college in the country (Oberlin College, 1926). "Young ladies may have gentelman guests in their room as long as they maintain the following rule: Four feet on the floor, and a basket in the door. " (wastebasket) Those were the days!

As you know, my internet was down yesterday, which would have been inordinately frustrating except that I spent most of the day sleeping off a stomach virus. I'll get back in the fray today. I have a ten hour drive to Las Vegas with a plug adaptor - that oughta create productivity, eh? Kinda like your scarf-on-the-chair-arm trick.

Love
Peg

Getting up dark and early

Managed to set my alarm in the a.m. this time. Been up writing for an hour already. Now sunrise approaches, judging by the color of the sky outside my clerestory windows. AND that rooster crowing his fool head off in the distance.

Way #19: Seize the Night
This is in the MIND section of the book, the realm of thoughts, ideas, the creative process, dreams.
I am so much more a night owl than an early bird, but I have found there is no better time to write than in the predawn hours. (The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don't go back to sleep.) So I drag my sorry butt out of bed, brew up some strong coffee, and plant myself in front of my screen. I have not resorted to tethering my arm to the chair -- not yet -- but, as I say, it's early.

The Way of TODAY (by God!)

Ever tried tying yourself to your chair, in a desperate bid to finish the task at hand? "Desperate times call for desperate measures," right? So I've brought not one but two fresh, hot beverages with me to my desk this morning, and -- God help me! -- I've redeployed my custom-painted silk neck scarf as something of a tether, to bind my left elbow loosely to the arm of the chair. Let the dog bark, let the doorbell ring; come hell or high water, I'm not getting up from this chair until I've clicked "Publish Post" below. So there.

OK, I don't want to use the B-word -- you know, as in "writer's b _ _ _ _" -- but I have been trying to write this [more unmentionable words] chapter for weeks now, this one called Way #18: Lay a Feast for the Muses. Yeegadz, had the Muses truly been coming for dinner, imagine! I'd be frantically dialing the 9-1-1 of pizza delivery services about now. How tacky would THAT be?

Did you ever see the film, "Adaptation," in which the screenwriter Charlie Kaufman struggles with the task of adapting Susan Orlean's The Orchid Thief for the big screen? Oh man, I laughed 'til I cried -- or did I cry 'til I laughed? Either way, it was painfully humorous to watch Charlie Kaufman's character (a screenwriter named Charlie Kaufman) go through his mental, emotional, psychological and sometimes even physical contortions to get the job done. I remember telling my therapist about the scenes in which he's bent over his 1980s-era typewriter, fingers poised -- yeah, more like fingers paralyzed! -- while, in voiceover, his thoughts stray...

"I wish I had some coffee," he thinks. "Yeah, coffee and a muffin... Wait. I should get some writing done and then go get coffee and a muffin... as a reward. Yeah, that's what I'll do." [long pause, fingers still idle, pause... pause........]

"...Banana-Nut, that's a good muffin."

God, I laughed! I have SO been there. I have SO done that. Same with a later scene: Bent over his typewriter again, this time Charlie bursts into a frenzy of typing, while in voiceover he narrates his script's opening line, something about an old-model pickup truck hurtling down a dirt road in Florida's Everglades and turning right at a sign for a nature conservancy (or thereabouts). At the end of this single sentence, our hapless hero sits back from his keyboard, heaves a heavy sigh and says out loud, "I need a break!"

Any writers in the room? Raise your hand if you've been there, done that? You know I'd raise mine, too, but it's tied to the chair just now.

OK, so I told my therapist about these scenes from "Adaptation," together with my confession that this is ME all over the place. She smiled and nodded, knowingly (the way therapists always do, right?). Then, by golly, she earned her long dollars as a professional therapist by saying, "Well, at least he keeps putting himself in the position. He's struggling, to be sure, but he keeps trying, keeps showing up, keeps sitting there in front of his typewriter."

YESS! And I've got another name for it. What Kaufman's neurotic (yet exemplary) character keeps doing in that movie is.... LAYING A FEAST FOR THE MUSES! Because, not to gross anybody out or anything, but when you're hosting a feast for the Muses, the question is not "what's on the menu?" but rather "who?" And the answer, dear one, is always YOU!

Newcomers to this blog may be interested to know that I've been developing this book idea, 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s, for more than five years now. I've been gathering ideas, talking to people, entering writing contests with the proposal, shopping it around to agents and editors. I even upgraded my desktop computer and bought a laptop -- equipping myself, making myself perfectly ready to write the book. I want -- I need -- all available Muses to hover near. So all these years, I have been putting together the best possible, most delicious, visually appealing, awe-inspiring, nutritionally balanced, gloriously celebratory (albeit metaphorical) FEAST that I could possibly muster, so as to wine and dine the divine nine, Los Muses!

So, after signing a book deal with New World Library before Christmas (and considering that such a deal made my feast-laying preparations complete), I chose this chapter, Way #18: Lay a Feast for the Muses, as one of the first chapters I'd write. And yet, the chapter wouldn't come. Try as I might -- this way, that way, every which way but loose -- the words just would not flow! The chapter refused to be tamed!

Now, this week, as I'm welcoming "the good doctor" Peggy Spencer into this project (Welcome again, Peg, and thank you for your WILLINGNESS & READINESS-- two more yummy treats for the gods!), it occurs to me: Maybe the reason this chapter wouldn't come together is that I had not quite finished laying the feast yet.

Are you familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator? Well, whether you are or not, I was in no way surprised, when I took the test, to learn that I am (as I like to put it) "OFF-THE-CHARTS EXTROVERTED." Anyone who knows me knows that. I am a TALKER. I am what today's educators would call (as they do in the cases of both of my children) "high-verbal." ALLLLLL this to say (in my high-verbal way), that I should have known that I needed an assistant on this project. I have needed someone to bounce ideas off of. I have needed someone to talk to about it. I have needed, well, someone to help me lay a feast this royal.

In "Adaptation," Charlie Kaufman invents a twin brother for himself, one who is every bit as easy-going as Charlie himself is neurotic. I hope I've found as good a balance in the thankfully-NOT-invented Peg Spencer.

Well, lookie here. I'm gonna click "Publish," untie my scarf and go fetch my high-verbal kids from school. More soon, I promise.

Sheila - you did it! The Way of TODAY (by God!) !! You are SO FUNNY! Tied yourself to the chair with a silk scarf, did ya? I love it.

Thank you for your kind words about me. I am SO HERE for you, my friend. This will be a glorious feast!

Love,

Peg

A public blogging?

Sheila - I tried to interweave comments into your morning blog, but messed up the html somehow and it wouldn't "take".

I'm here to help.

Shall I flog you publicly? "Where's that Daily Way? Come on, cough it up. Get on the stick!"

Or shall I encourage you publicly? "You can DO it, Sheila! I have faith! You ROCK!"

I prefer the second option, but am willing to do whatever you need me to do to help. Well, almost anything. Daily latte delivery is a tad out of my league. ;)

Love,
Peg

Oh, crap! Now I messed up so thoroughly that your post is lost! I'm sorry!!!! I'm the one who needs a public blogging! I'll try to fix it.

I managed to get some of it back, but somehow I lost the part about your brother. The hazards of co-blogging. My sincere apologies. Love, Peg (4/5/6)

Alarmed by my alarm clock

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.

I forgot to tape that to my forehead. MAN is it hard to get out of bed this week!

Well, I'm up at dawn, so I'm here in time for the secrets. But I was supposed to be up two hours ago, "dark and early" as I like to say. I set my clock for 4:30. Yes, 4:30. Only problem is I didn't notice I was in the PM realm, not the AM realm. I woke up on my own around 6:12 and went, "awwwww!" :( Oops!

Speaking of time (aren't I always?), I've spent way too much of it by this point trying to write a blog piece about Way #18: Lay a Feast for the Muses. Once I took the process over to MSWord, so I could have the full range of word-processing tools I know and love, I let myself get mired down again. And again. Sssssiiiiiiiigghhhhhhhhh.... Don't get bogged down, get "blogged" down! Maybe if you think of it, again, as a note to me, or a series of notes to self, rather than "a piece" that will take some pressure off. Would it help if I bug you? "Where's today's blog, Sheila, where is it, huh? Come on, cough it up, girl!" Or encourage you? "You can DO it! I know you can! I have faith in you! You rock!"

Ruminating on Rumi

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

I found it! Last week, over at my friend Mary's house, I caught a bit of Wayne Dyer's latest PBS special. Mary had seen it once already, had even urged me to be on the lookout for it, as it -- that is, he, Dr. Dyer -- had helped Mary out of a funk. His message had given her enough of a nudge to overcome the quagmire of midlife inertia that had engulfed her; Dyer's message helped Mary to get moving again. Now, with her finger on the 'pause' button, she was rolling tape, capturing every word (and editing out the repeated pledge breaks!). I thought I had dropped by Mary's house for a quick hello. Instead, I helped myself to a piece of couch and settled in for an hour.

SO MANY THINGS that Wayne Dyer said really spoke to me, but none so much as these two lines he borrowed from the Persian religious scholar and poet Rumi:

"The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep."

I will be honest: I love to sleep. Were sleeping an Olympic event, I'd be a gold medalist many times over! Today, finding the full verse in my husband's copy of The Essential Rumi, translations by Coleman Barks with John Moyne (ISBN 0-7858-0871-X), I smile knowingly at the thrice-written line: Don't go back to sleep. Can't you just hear the soul struggling, "back and forth across the doorsill" between the snugly warmth of continued dreaming and the bracing chill of new-day wakefulness?

Speaking of... it's time to rouse my sleeping babes from their beds -- not an easy task so soon after "springing forward." Oh, but it is a school day and, with "Dad" at work -- doing his station's pledge breaks* -- it's all up to me, Mom, to get them there.

More soon.
Love, Sheila

* "his station" is KUNM in Albuquerque, streaming live (should you care to tune in) at http://www.kunm.org/listen/.

Way of the Day: #18: "Lay a Feast for the Muses"

Dear Peg,

This blog entry wants to be in the form of a letter to you. As you know, I've been struggling to write this Way for some time -- ever since signing the contract with New World Library before Christmas. Most of my finished chapters were in the BODY section, the first section of the book. But when our ed VB asked me which three chapters I'd like to tackle next, I listed the next two BODY chapters plus this one.

Way #18: "Lay a Feast for the Muses" is in the MIND section. We're calling on those nine Greek lovelies (any or all) to bless us with a big idea. To hover near and channel the ever-lovin' light of divine inspiration upon us. To sprinkle their fairy dust.



[in progress]
[obviously]

Purple is my personal muse color.

Sheila - I read your notes for this chapter in The Tome and did some Mind Mapping which I can share with you Friday when we meet. Inspiration and Creativity. "Making yourself available to the creative process" (S. Key, "50 Ways..") A few random thoughts/threads for the tapestry:

We are all creative beings. Our creations may be in vastly different forms, but we do create. Not only that, by this time in our lives we are all experts in something, even if that's "just" in our own lives. We may be "lay people" in some areas, but are experts in others.

Some of our expertise and creative skills have been dormant, while we raised kids, did marriage, had a career, whatever. Now is a good time to dust them off (e.g. my cello sitting in the corner) and revive them.

I like to refer to inspiration sources as "muse juice". What inspires you? (reader "you"). When/where/with whom/doing what are you most creative? What's your creative outlet? Work? Cooking? Gardening? Arts? Music? Dance? Writing? Crafts? We can suggest they try something new. Sources of inspiration can be from outside or inside.

The muse is us. The muse is within us. We have the power within us to "live our lives fully" (S. Key, ibid). This is the tip of another iceberg. Buddhists say we have everything we need, within ourselves, to understand life and gain all the wisdom we need.

I did a big mind map on FEAST, with the four "food groups" you talk about - earth, air, fire, water. Some highlights:

1. earth - connection to nature, fruit (your ambrosia recipe), get dirty! (try something new)
2. air - you breathe rarefied air (you are unique, celebrate yourself), sidebar on gas?
3. fire - excitement, enthusiasm, sex, anger/emotions (say it out loud!), out of the frying pan into the f.
4. water - drink it, jump in! , sink or swim (?!), Ohhhh the waters (song)

OK, 'nuff for tonight - handing off the loom to you for the next thread. Let's weave! (Peg 4/3)

Good morning, Peg! Good morning, Sheila! What fun, after getting up DARK and early, to find your musings (MUSE-ings) woven in among my own. And to see my own musings quoted -- ibid, even! -- as if they were already published in a real, live book somewhere... well, how's that for validation?! Oh good. Validation is muy importante!

Listen! I have another Blogger question. Yesterday, when we started this weaving, and you intuitively chose my favorite color orange for my text... well, I could see how you had done it. There was a color-chart-with-T-for-text icon that I could click on. But ever since then, the only editing screen I'm finding (and using, right now for instance) has no such icon. So.... HOW DO I SELECT COLOR FOR MY TEXT? Hmm. Well, I don't know why you're not getting it. It's right up there for me. You click on the Posting tab, then on Edit Posts, and then you should get a list of the posts. Click the Edit button next to the post you want to edit, then you should get a little composition screen. Once you type your text, you can select it with the mouse, then pick a color.

Gadzooks! I am *still* such a newbie at blogging. Hang in there with it! Just takes practice. (Peg 4/4)

HI. Sheila here again. No, Blogger is not always the same for me -- not just the same as it is for you, but not even the same as it is for me. Like now, for instance, when I did all this: ...You click on the Posting tab, then on Edit Posts, and then you should get a list of the posts. Click the Edit button next to the post you want to edit, then you should get a little composition screen I find myself in a screen that's showing the html code. But the two tabs that are usually up in the right corner -- html and compose, is it? -- those are nowhere to be found. Sometimes I have a screen that looks slick and finished, sometimes one that's like bare-bones, no-frills. Sometimes it's something in between: like, the no-frills screen but with a few icons I can click on (usually for bold, italic, insert image... there's a set of quote marks for setting, I think, a block quote. But today, right now, nothing. Just this box in which I'm typing, a field above it for Title: and the stuff below about allowing new comments yes or no, and the change time & date. Then, finally, the blue and orange 'save as draft' and 'publish post' buttons. Well, now THAT's really weird. It sounds as if something "disappeared" your "Edit HTML" and "Compose" tabs. What happens if you click where they're supposed to be? Does it go back to "compose" mode?

Do you use Mozilla Firefox? Yes, I do. That's my usual browser -- and when you were here, I thought maybe that was the problem (remember, the "invite member" screen or whatever it was called looked funky that day, too). Thing is, if I close and reopen, sometimes the page's appearance is drastically changed, other times the changes are less noticeable. Anyway, I guess I've gone on long enough to say that Blogger has quite a range of appearance at my end. Sounds like a computer-specific problem. Call your SysOp!

And I remain unable to change my text's color. Hmm. Bummer. Shall I rub it in? Naw, seriously, this is a drag. Throws a major wrench in the works for our process plan.

Yesterday, I opened that first "weaving" post and there everything was, the text-color icon and everything. So I know, at least, what it is I'm looking for. Pero no esta!

OK, I'm going back to the blog post I'm working on in WORD. (THERE's how to assign different colors to my text -- compose in Word and use "Blogger for Word" to post.) Cool! I look forward to it. (Peg 4/4)

Ciao for now.
Love, S.

(Sheila 4/4)

Thank You Sheila!!!!

For inviting me to join you on this exciting journey! I am very honored and thrilled to be invited to join you in the creation of 50 Ways To Leave Your 40's ! This blog bouncing style fits us just right, methinks, and I'm looking forward to the offerings of others as well.

Here's to The Book! I'd raise my glass if I had one, but I've got to keep a clear head for this writing business, doncha know. Well, except for mocha, of course! Here's to us, gal!

Love,

Peg

"¿Qué hora es?"

Well, now, here's *another* blog-worthy email from my husband:


Mom, Maya, and Sayre

On Wednesday, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning,
the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.

That won't ever happen again in your life time.

Do you want me to wake you up so we can have a party?

****

Funny it should be about TIME, a topic I'll get to in a minute. But first, what is UP with this double posting of mine? It happens all the frickin' time! No matter what I click on to say 'go', I almost always get that stupid "the document contains no data" prompt. All I can do is click OK, so I do -- and *sometimes* the thing I'm posting posts, and sometimes it doesn't. That is, sometimes I'm sent to the winding little "publishing" screen, and sometimes I'm not. But if I'm not, and it seems there is nothing whatsoever to do but to click on post again (or "publish," right?), then the blog shows the posting twice. I don't get it. What-oh-what is up with that?

As it stands, right now I have this "que hora es" post showing up on the blog twice, but in my *list* of posts, it only appears once. So.... I'm editing the one copy I find here, and we'll just see what happens, OK?

TIME. 01:02:03, 04-05-06 . I lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ove number patterns, especially in dates. Would opt for the party to be in the p.m., however, not the a.m., never mind that bit about it then being 13:02:03, etc.

WANT BIG POINTSIZE HERE to announce: "¿Qué hora es?" I'll tell you what time it is! It's T-minus 7 months 27 days, and counting... 'til the 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s "complete, first-draft manuscript" blasts off outta here, into publishing-world orbit -- or some darn thing.

My point (and I do have one, thank you Ellen DeGeneres)is that there is not too terribly much time left to finish writing my book -- which is why, right here before your eyes, "my book" is morphing into "our book." Yep! 50 Ways is no longer a one-woman show.

HOLD EVERYTHING! Allow me to present an impromptu journalism lesson. This, what I'm doing now, is called "burying the lead." Let me count the paragraphs I've piled on top of TODAY'S TOP STORY: Dr. Peggy Spencer has done me the great honor of accepting my invitation to write this book together. Wow! I didn't know I had a job opening (so to speak), but suddenly there was Peg, the perfect candidate, happily blogging me back whenever I posted something new here. We decided to meet for coffee, after which a bright light came on in my head. I floated the idea to my (now our ) editor, Ms. Vanessa Brown, who wasted no time in bestowing her blessing.

So Peg and I have struck an agreement. Now we're drawing up papers and setting to work. Rather than emailing back and forth, we plan to work "right out loud" here on the blog. Hope you'll stop by often, get in on the fun.

Hey, but right now I've gotta go get the kids from school.

Ciao for now, Love!
Sheila

P.S. We sign everything LOVE around here.

Nothing like a deadline!

Let me share the good news. I just sent this email to my husband:

Hey love, you will be so proud of me. With two days left on the manufacturer's warranty (and, no, the extended coverage I bought thru Circuit City does not *extend* to the printer), I called Canon, troubleshot the prob (to no avail), and they're sending me a new PIXMA iP1500 forthwith.

Ta-dah!
Love, Sheila

P.S. The color printer went down a couple months ago, but with the ol' laser printer nearby, push just hadn't come to shove. Hence this post's title...


THIS JUST IN, from My Man (who, for the moment at least, chooses to remain nameless):

Dang, you are good!

Thanks for being a superior human being. The whole darn planet should be proud of you! I sure am.

Great.

Testing....testing....

BOO! Did I surprise ya? This is a test post from Peg.

Hooray! Your test was successful! But hey -- where did the book cover (in lieu of photograph) go from the top of the blog? Let's figure out how to get that back. (Sheila 4/3)

Yikes! I have no idea. Was it where our names are now? How did you get it there in the first place? (Peg 4/3 - wanna try doing the tapestry thing? I took the liberty of pasting your comment in here. Go to the dashboard, then to the Posting tab, then Edit Posts)

Cool! We're weaving a blog! We're blogging a book! Did I tell you my favorite color is orange -- or could you just tell, after your first visit to "mi studito"? In any case, thanks for choosing the right color for my text! /sk

You didn't tell me. But I might have "gotten" that subliminally from the book cover. I'm so sorry it's gone! Can you contact your blog-master and see if she can get it back for us? Meanwhile, I'm hearing a dancing song in my head..."We're blogging...we're blogging..." It's more of a cheer, actually. So I'm going to shut up now so you can do your Way a Day post! Feel free to delete this little tapestry if you like. (Peg 4/3)

Nah, let's keep the tapestry. A memento of the first official day of our collaboration. BTW, did you get the agreement letter? I sent it by (ahem) private email...

RE: The missing photo. Its URL is still listed in the Photo section of my profile. I don't see how to override the appearance of the "contributors" list in favor of the photo. Let me do what I always do when online-publishing matters vex me; let me call in Webster Girl (a.k.a. Diane) and see if she can figure it out.

Breathe in, breathe out (repeat)

OK, I'm trying not to panic, but I have to face the fact: I am simply not getting far enough fast enough on my manuscript. Any words of wisdom to be had out there in blog land? I know the best three have been trademarked by Nike. ...Which reminds me.... I wonder what I'd have to pay Nike to include a chapter in my book called "Just Do It." Clearly, just doing it is one tried-and-true way of leaving one's 40s -- one might call it The Original.

Anyway, I apologize for being so absent from this blog. I'll keep pushing to improve -- but if I have to choose between making progress on my book or making progress on my blog, well, you KNOW which one I'll choose.

Meanwhile, any and all pep talks for affecting a desperately needed quantum leap in my productivity will be gladly accepted.

Love,
Sheila

"S-t-r-e-t-c-h---I-t---O-u-t"

We're thinking of taking down the Christmas tree, my family and I. Only thinking of it, mind you. It's a 15-footer we got for a song, and it's so bright and beautiful in our great room. Besides which, our kitty (who's only two Christmasses old) finds it endlessly amusing -- which, naturally, makes it endlessly amusing for the rest of us, too. I figure, this tree gave its one-and-only life to bring us joy, and it's still sucking up water and hanging onto its needles to do just that, so what's the hurry? Some friends were over yesterday and commented on it, but not disparagingly, as they had taken theirs down only as recently as Valentine's Day. "One of our neighbors showed up in January and offered to HELP us take it down," they said, "like, 'hint! hint!'"

OK, listen. There's not one of us using our homes as a Wal-Mart (God, I hope I'm right about that!), so why should we think we gotta shove the Christmas beauty out the door to make room for all those red hearts of Valentine's Day, only to have THEM gone by Feb. 15 to make room for the green shamrocks of St. Pat's? Oh! Did I miss the Washingtonian silhouettes of President's Day? Yes, and the masks and beads of Mardi Gras? Easter eggs, anyone?

You know, the wheel of the year is gonna turn right on schedule, whether we decorate appropriately or not. So again I say, What's the rush? If it's beautiful, let it be!

ALLLL THIS TO SAY... I'm at work on a chapter called "S-t-r-e-t-c-h---I-t---O-u-t" and would love your input. My birthday was a couple weeks ago, but it has long been my practice to begin my celebration with (can't resist) "the dawning of the age of Aquarius" around Jan. 20 and to keep it going AT LEAST until "short February's done." Since my book is about ringing in a whole new decade, I'm thinking, now HERE'S a celebration worth stretching out longer than usual.

Why not take the whole year? Given our particular place in the cosmos, that good ol' wheel takes 52 weeks to complete one turn. Think of it! You could celebrate the Big 5-Oh in 50 different weekly ways -- and still have a two-week vacation left over, for doing absolutely nothing!

Any thoughts? Do tell!

Love, Sheila

P.S. This chapter is also about stretching out in the muscles-and-joints sense of the phrase. If you'll soon 'leave your 40s' (or have done already), I don't need to tell you about the increasing importance of stretching out your BOD. Indeed, maybe YOU could tell ME (i.e. again, I'm looking for stories to illustrate the point)!

Which "Way" to Go Next?

Hey there. Been a while. I could re-use the header from this blog's very first entry: "Well, it's about darn time!" Been writing, of course, just not here. Turned in a couple chapters last week -- Way #4: "Run for Your Life!" (about walking, actually) and Way #6: Pause (about taking a moment to center yourself -- or a year on sabbatical -- and any and all in-between sorts of "Time Out!")

But why talk about last week?

I'm regrouping (speaking of Pause). Also retooling my writing plan. 'Til now, I've worked on a chapter or two at a time, sticking with 'em until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Oh, me and my metaphors! Now I want to dash out back into the garden...

It's planting time. I’ve been throwing scraps and trimmings onto this book’s compost pile for years. Been watering it, turning it. Now the stuff is rich and ready to spread. I’ve got ginormous “heaps” of writing in several docs, including a growing one named (in my editor's honor) “Words On Paper, Baby!” My next move is to pull these many passages apart and slot them into the chapters that best fit ‘em. Another big piece is the recently rediscovered tape of the very first interview I did for this book, almost exactly 3 years ago, with a wonderfully talented, world-wise travel writer based in Santa Fe. Oh my God! Just listened to it during my customary long, hot, post-healing-session bath, and IT IS RICH! I almost cried, I was so happy with the conversation’s breadth and depth.

Anyway, these accumulated nuggets will “seed” my many Ways. Then, you watch, chapters will be flowering in no time! My goal is to sprout all 50 “beds” by April 26, the day my daughter and I board a bus to Mexico (dual-language exchange program). Expect the whole book to be “knee high by the 4th of July,” with fruit on the vine throughout by time the summer storms blow in across the Rio Grande. (They’ll dance around us, as ever, these storms. “Gush on us!” we’ll pray.) Harvest time will find me rushing, as usual, to keep up with the pickings and to “put everything up” before my (almost) winter deadline. Inevitably, each crop’s unique “processing” will command my concentrated effort. Only then will finished chapters crowd into my outbox, like jars in the pantry.

I'll get a 'Blog Me Back' question up here soon. Meanwhile, I invite you to peruse the "titles and teasers" of the 50 Ways at the 'official website'! See if any of my chapter ideas evoke stories from your own middle-of-life. Then come back here and tell, tell -- or should I say, blog blog!

OK, back to work!
Thanks for checking in.
Sheila

Flashing You the Big Five-Oh!

Hey there! Happy New Year! Sheila Key here. Greetings from "Mi Studito," my little corner of the world and "center of the universe" for a book called 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s: What to Do When Midlife Crisis Is Not Enough. As its author (working a 12/01/06 deadline), I expect to clock a lot of hours in this very spot during the next 333 days.

Thanks for dropping in! (Writing tends to be lonely work, especially for an extrovert like me.) You are among my very first visitors. Please! Make yourself at home, and I'll give you the nickel tour.

50 Ways to Leave Your 40s (ISBN 1-57731-545-6) is due in bookstores in Fall 2007. According to my contract with New World Library, it'll contain:

“50 humorous and encouraging short essays about holistic health and happiness at midlife, buttressed by solid advice from subject-matter experts, presented in a reader-friendly and bite-size format.”

Sounds like fun, yes? I'm hoping you think so, because--well--this blog ain't just writing practice for me. Picture this as a beautifully engraved invitation on pearly paper that feels lovely between your fingers:

The Honour of Your Presence is Requested among the Pages of a Book that promises to be a Fun Read!
(and to feel lovely between your fingers)

In other words, I invite you to share your midlife stories for possible inclusion in "50/40" (as my editor fondly calls it). During this "writing year," I will periodically post new "Blog-Me-Back" prompts as a sort of Call For Entries for material befitting my "Way of the Week" (i.e. whichever chapter I'm writing at the moment). PLEASE VISIT THIS BLOG OFTEN -- AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS! -- because I really want 50/40 to resonate as universally as possible. You can laugh, but my aim is nothing short of touching hearts and changing lives. Yes, and tickling funny bones, too.

So Blog Me Back, would'ja? Clicking on "Comments" at the bottom of this post will get you started. Should you prefer NOT to create a "blogger" account (it's fun, but hey!), then please email me "the old-fashioned way" at sheilakey@50waystoleaveyour40s.com. Just click on the email link along the left side of this page, above.

Tell me: What's up with YOU in midlife? To borrow a title from one of John Cusack's early films, "Say Anything"!

Here are the chapters I'm writing now:

• Way #4: Run for Your Life (Or Maybe Just Walk)
• Way #5: S-t-r-e-t-c-h---I-t---O-u-t
• Way #6: Pause

If these chapter titles aren't enough to inspire the storyteller in you, check back in coming days, and I'll have "Blog-Me-Back" questions that call for more focused input. In any case, do drop by again and again. And do bring lots of friends!

Finally, should you want to learn more about 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s -- to see the full chapter list, read excerpts from the manuscript, even peruse the proposal I sent to New World Library -- please visit the official website at www.50waystoleaveyour40s.com. Again, you'll find a handy-dandy link along the left side of the page, near the top of this blog.

Thanks again for visiting. It's been a pleasure! Hope to hear from you soon.

Ciao for now,
Sheila